Winter is giving me the pip.
I went out this afternoon wrapped up like mummy, only wanted some butter, but as I was out and near the charity shop, I thought it'd do no harm to pop in.
Joan, my old favourite volunteer, was just doing up her brown coat.
"Oh there you are" she said head cocked to one side and a wee half smile on her face
I immediately felt in the wrong.
Joan is lovely, a bit of a talker and gasbag, but wise and warm and has always offered me hugs when times were bad.
"Yeah" said I sloping towards her arms outstretched.
"Well, where you bin? asked she
"Nowhere, just been cutting up vegetables"
As I disentangled myself from her mumsie grip I held her hands and asked about her family wondering if her very sick daughter had improved.
"I'll tell you next week" she said "When we've got more time"
I sensed there would be much befriending next week and so as she walked away I promised I'd be in next Thursday possibly with cake.
"You'd better be" she joshed.
Dear Joan, built like an over fed auntie and with the faith of Job...





Oh God, I miss International Football.
England aren't playing until 27th March. Lithuania at Wembley. A friendly. March March March...
That's when the Riverside caravan site re-opens and work starts on my decking. Already have the wood just need to stick it together.
Daffs, decking, football and Spring.
I can't wait.

I must have a word...

Before I trundle to the Co-Op pushing my 'Burberry' patterned trolley I have to tell you what I just heard on Radio 4.
"Mozart has been reincarnated and lives in a house on Jupiter"


This, and other interesting beliefs, are held by Spiritists.
Not to be confused with Spiritualists.

Wolf Hall v. Harry Hill

Recently became converted to historical novels so the new BBC drama Wolf Hall had me all excited. Being also a fan of Harry Hill I had looked forward to his new tv show Stars in Their Eyes.
Loved one, didn't quite get the other. 

Wolf Hall was mesmerizing, all candlelight, bloodshed and brilliant performances.
Harry Hill left me wondering.
His commentaries on You've Been Framed are the best, silly, sometimes near the bone, just hilarious. Well worth rushing through your pizza for.

And although I enjoyed Wolf Hall I was put off, nay puzzled, by the leaping about from 'present' day say 1592 to the long ago say 1583, but, as it's a BBC production with a bag of top notch actors, I'll give it another go.
Harry Hills Stars though etc will have to try harder.

It's not that I don't do zany, I do, I loved Milligan, Hill and Bernie Winters (!) and to date I've loved Harry but this queer mix of talent show meets comic capers leaves me baffled.

But as with Wolf I'll give Harry another chance. But not this Saturday because this Saturday I'm going to a Vintage/Retro Disco at the church hall in aid of a local lad who's unwell. It's been arranged by a gang of vintage car/rock and roll enthusiasts who have reassuringly declared it won't be essential to go the whole hog and dress like a Teddy Boy/Girl. Thank God for that. I'll be wearing a pair of Oxfords bags, sparkling shoes and velveteen blouse.
Rock and Roll my hat!


A not-too-hard-up plumber is coming soooon to quote a price for fitting my new once in a blue moon priced fantastic priced basic bathroom. He must be doing well because I'm still waiting..............................................................................................................................................................................
So I will get on with tonight's dinner.
Chicken thighs on a pillow of cabbage.

I'll be concentrating on my food blog this year...

Happy New Year All 

x

OMG. This is NOT a poem

I am so old
the mirror's reflection told me so
en embryo of a turkey neck
OMG I am so old
Is my right breast leaning to the left

I think lots of coffin thoughts

Simpering in bed at midday
wishing my husband was someone else
like the Hero in the murder novel
like the Man of My Dreams
I'm rather dry in the thighs
OMG I am so old
Can I afford a brace for straighter teeth

I'm talking to dead people

I need good cash to stash in the pretty biscuit tin by the peas
But work would kill me
I wouldn't last a day
impure thoughts would cast shadows as I oggled my my line manager (whatever that is)
OMG I am so old
Frozen Chocolate Penises defrosting under the bed

I'm having trouble deciding on Milk White or Dark chocolate. 


My future is coming fast
I can get in cheaper at the bowling alley because I'm 55+
BUT on reading that, albeit with some difficulty, I laughed
Young carnivores in the burger bar made Spicy Bean Burger scoffing me want to vomit
Where has my love of cow meat gone
OMG I am so old
I knock on God's door more for professional guidance
He's always out,
But to be fair I am receiving subliminal messages mainly through tv adverts.

Throaty laughs are being interspersed with giggles ( and I have always hated giggling women who think that by making teenage girl noises they are somehow more desireable to men. Yeah right)
I have though had such fun.


I'm using more E45 cream and less lipstick.
Being thought of as an overblown overly dry and over painted middle-aged woman really scares me.
OMG the thought of morphing into my great Aunt Edie sobers me up no end.
It was rumoured that her sudden glamourisation ( beaded berets, diamond rings and a holiday chalet in Skegness) was down to the sickening fact that she'd 'allowed' great Uncle Bob to pass away in the middle of the night instead of dashing for the doctor and by so doing bag the contents of his fat bank account.
LOL!
As if I could


I spend too much time smiling on account of it taking more muscles to frown than to grin.
Resulting in approval from folk but deep lines in the cheek area
Oh bugger.
I soothe myself by knowing absolutely that what I lose on the physical front I gain in the brain.
I'm swallowing Edward Marston novels like they're sugared almonds (which my the way have made their way into my handbag, a sign surely of approaching vaginal dryness)


With physical deterioration has come a little wisdom
and playfulness.
OMG I'm approaching 59 and I'm kinda not scared.
As many doors close, many are opened
As more sleep is needed, more beauty I attaineth
As natural anxiety about love and the future attend my every day
I seize it.


OMG I like life!