Hello my name is Tango...

And I was born in a zoo in London but that's alright because I have sooooo many mummies and daddies (partly-haired) who will take care of me and my barnet.

When I get older though my hair will go really black like my real daddy's hair... then I will be just another old gorilla:(

Thank you:)

Love
Tango x

Hot and Sticky

I am making a cake.
On this furnace of a day.
Sun almighty and me in me shorts.

...............A Honey and Spice cake is baking as I write this. The aroma of ginger, cinnamon and ground cloves is making me feel a little high. So warm and pungent are they. So poetic...so dreamy....spices having that effect on me. Whenever I do spices I trip a bit.

To add gentle sweetness, honey is used, and to give the Delia Smith recipe some oooomph, and so it's not all hot and spicy, a great deal of grated lemon and orange rind is added. Along with lots of candied mixed peel. Grating rind drives me bananas because I've yet to find a decent hardworking little grater that does the job expertly and preferably doesn't remove finger skin. lol. The only grater I have is knackered and is apt to rip my wrists with it's bentness. So whenever I need zest I pull out my indestructible Sabatier paring knife and painstakingly slice and dice:)

This cake is from Delias cake book, can't remember the year, it's also in her original recipe book which I've had for over twenty five years. In it she recommends this cake if one is going out for the day...On a picnic don't you know, and it did indeed accompany me and Mr Horshound on a trip to Harlaxton back in the eighties, don't think we've been on a picnic since!
At any rate Delia was right, it is a thick moist robust cake which tolerates car travel very well.

Her original recipe called for a simple lemon icing but when I checked her online club (of which I'm a member) she now tops the simple icing with chopped stem ginger. Now not so simple...
Would definitely like to try this but for the moment I'm going to decorate with a lemony icing mixed with a spoonful of Ginger conserve. (My invention) The Stem stuff will come later.

Ok m'dears the timer has just pinged............

What a lovely day it is:)

Hooray for Hollywood and Jo

Jo

Paul and Mary

I was in a lather last night on account of The Great British Bake Off.

Fragrant former ad girl Holly gave me the pip with her sugar coated bitchiness...the blank faced perfect Mother of Two 'joked' about wishing the other bakers dead. No. Didn't like that. Not a bit. From day one I've been gunning for the cosmetic-free toffee-nosed madam, and last night she really got my blood up. I get the impression that beneath the weak smiles and head hanging to one side malarky she's planning world domination or at least has her eye on a book deal.

So my Bake Off could have been a Right Off if it hadn't been for the fantastically likeable Essex girl, Jo. With her slightly whiny voice, delicious smile, ample hips and imperfect teeth she's my idea of a woman I'd like as a neighbour. When praised by Paul or Mary she looks genuinely stunned. Me? I can't believe it. I can't believe my Danish Pastries were better than everyone elses. Humility is alive and well and residing in the heart of Jo. I hope, at the end of the day John, that she snatches the Chefs Hat...

The other contestant who doesn't bring out either love or loathing in me is the formidable but warm Mary-Ann. A bigger girl with so much skill it's enough to make me vomit over me dainties, she is not in love with herself and takes on all tasks with vigour and sweats a lot on the way. I like her, and if Jo doesn't win I hope Mary-Ann does.

I do love this programme, everything about it is what I think a cool cook show should be ...Informative but not dour, great presenters, the adorable Mel and Sue are just fab, especially like Sue's glasses and most of all, a great cook prog should make the lazy tripehounds who are sitting at home salivating get up and get cooking. Does it for me dears...

You all know how much I respect and like Mary Berry, she has taught me all I'll ever need to know but master baker Paul Hollywood is just too handsome to go anywhere near a kitchen...except MINE of course. He is welcome to ice my fancies any time he's in the neighbourhood. Tall, chunky, a face to faint over and cooks as well. Oh come on...Is this guy for real?


Anywaaaay, I love them all, and can't wait for the final when, if there's any justice, Holly will fail to rise and Jo will be iced Queen Of Bakers.


An aside...After a quick trundling of my trolley through the aisles of Sainsbury's I squatted on my rear stoop and conversated with me 'erbs whilst chomping on a very sugary YumYum (shop bought).

A bit of my day

Like this but two of 'em

I'm sure he's a lovely man

Me in my 'Alex' same sun, same shades, different day!

As a food fanatic I love it when, on a hot afternoon in September, I find a recipe gem.
This new recipe, which has me cavorting around the drawing room is called Basque Chicken Pie and it's in one of my latest cookery books, Hamlyn's Best of Baking....
Anyway readers, if the colourful pic is anything to go by we're in for a treat. Unlike 'ordinary' pies, which have 'ordinary' pastry shells, this beauty is made using bread dough so the excitement mounts...
Its filling is rich with cooked sliced chicken, chunks of ham, red and green peppers, fresh tomatoes and garlic. Not sure what I'll serve it with, some kind of green vegetable probably, but not sprouts.
I have a feeling in my bones that this exotic sounding pie will taste luscious served cold with warm garlic bread and greenish salad. I can't wait to get on it.


What else...Oh yes... Mr Miliband stating in his conference speech (which tv viewers had the misfortune to miss part of due to something going down or something) but radio listeners got it all, copping the full whack, anyway what I saw and heard was so familiar..."I'm not Tony Blair, I'm not Gordon Brown, I'm my own man" warbled the Wallace lookeylikey.
Well take me out and thrash me with a red flag if I haven't heard this kind of clap trap before. Admittedly Mr Miliband is newish to the game, but compared to Tone his style was colourless and lacked fizz..and compared to Kinnock's oratory skills, Miliband was a non-starter. Sorry Ed.
An after thought.....I'm being cruel and that's not me, his speech was good, possibly his best. That's enough kindness.

By the way Lisa, came today to do my hair, you remember Lisa she's overly tanned and doesn't charge much (pensioner specials?) She came and before I could say short back and sides she'd Pixiefied me. I adore the way she transforms me. But while she was shaving my neck she confided in me about her latest lodger...apparently he's brought a fish tank with him.

Other news...Went back today for part two of my job interview, and as usual I took a wrong turning, not much of a wrong turning but wiggly enough to demand information from a couple of workman..."I'm looking for the **** joint, I fear I've missed my turning" I said, pulling my sunglasses down. "Oh yes it's the next turning" said the old bloke laughing his overalls off, the younger one, the grungier one, just looked scared.
And so with a wave of my hand and a "Tallyho" I sped off.
It went well did the interview, so now I wait... again...

I'm in a flap over many things, jobs, boys, mothers and my knees but all in all my feathers are looking gooood and I'm certain things can only get better....

Keep Going

After a slow walk to Queensway shops (many health related stops) I asked very nicely if a gold wedding ring had been handed in. No. no, no.

Mum went out yesterday morning and believes she 'misplaced' it whilst digging deep in her purse for cash...I've told her repeatedly NOT to keep the ring amongst the coins but she insisted it was 'safe'
Now the olden gold ring has gone.
Mum was greying over with sadness.

Anyway....After all the negatives she went a little bleary eyed obviously but grasped my arm defiantly and offered to buy me a fish lunch. Once seated in the blue and white tiled fish shop with its modern artwork above the yummy mirrors we chatted... mostly about dad of course. She kept asking if I'd seen or heard from him but I thought Mr Fishy on Porchester Road was not the best place in which to discuss heaven and stuff and she bought it. ...She maintained silence for ten minutes then we spoke about men and Ed Balls.

A lovely youngish girl then delivered our Fat Roe, chips, bread, onions, iced cola (mum's) and cream topped hot chocolate (mine) then the poor lamb, much to the chagrin of Mother, giggled about fish eggs and stuff. Mother was not amused:( And it showed...

The skinny waitress looked puzzled so wished us a happy eating experience or something and sped off back to the fryer. It's funny how squeamish she is..that's mum....anything to do with internals and she throws up, silly mare... Me I don't mind.... innards of animals I'll eat it all:) Goes for human innards too, I wouldn't eat a persons organs of course but I'm not in the least fazed by any human bits red or wrinkly dead or alive:)

Mum paid up silently, while I smiled at the waitress, knowing that this slip of a thing had no idea the hell the old lady was currently residing in. I tipped her large...

Back to hers for good strong tea and a back massage, Mum's not mine! As she got dressed I looked around and hated the empty chairs, felt sombre as I spotted his glasses case stuffed down the armchair and felt weepy at the sight of the small brown horse ornament on his desk....(I bought it for him yonks ago) anyway.....I made a womanly tired promise to myself and him that I'll do my best to make things right again, to make sure mum gets to all her blasted appointments and that I'll loiter like the dutiful well trained daughter I still am in Corals making certain I get the best price for my fav gee gee in the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe...Sunday 2nd October... Can last year's winner Workforce do it again or will Reliable Man get his wet nose in front......X



Whadya reckon darling?
:)

Sun. Coooool!.
Can here mowers already. The brightness as I look out of my window is lovely. So warm and lovely is it that I've kicked off my slippers and feel like waxing. Lyrical.

Mowing. (Lots of Laughter)..
Mine will be groaning later on. Not too much will be shaved orf just enough to make my frontage respectable.

Traditional Roast Beef Lunch. Yum.
Fair sized piece of Brisket roasted in melted lard then, when the time is right, a few knobbly par-boiled spuds will be added to the spitting fat. To soothe and take away the guilt of indulging in extreme animal fat I'll steam a little Sweetheart Cabbage. To soak up the gravy and mustard a crisp bulbous Yorkshire Pudding. And for pud an apple crumble.

But most exciting of all...
The Labour Party Conference begins today in Liverpool. Kicks off around 2p.m. with a Hiya from Leader of Liverpool Council, Joe Anderson.
Should be worth a watch. Ken Livingston will be putting his two penn'orth in aswell. Boo.

Tomorrow Harriet Harmon will bleat on in a debate called Britain in the World...Think I'll give the ghastly Harry a miss. Although I do have one thing to thank her for...A dopey recipe for Mince embalmed in a nice Crusty Loaf. Amazing what one finds in retro recipe books.

And then Tuesday.... everything on standby.... . My Leader's speech kicks off at 3. Holy HUSH in the bungalow when the Man in Debt to the Unions makes his Conference speech.
Should be worth a tea break or two mate.



Now I must fly........................:)

A corker

I walked with a bounce today not just because the sun shone but because I had something in my heart that money can't buy...Hope. Hope that things/life is on the up.
And so I strolled with an excellent handbag in the crook of my elbow allowing myself the luxury of letting go.
And all my regular readers will know what that means...

1. Carrying mum not only emotionally but sometimes physically as well...I put those dreadful months in the cupboard inside my chokka block head. They're heavy but tucked away.

2. Financial nightmares... not only in the dark wee small hours but during the day when watching films, and, however good the movie, the penny pound gremlins ate at my flesh...But today I kicked back.... A job could be shooting my way...

3. Dad's departure. The worst thing I've ever seen or felt. I don't expect he was pleased either. But he couldn't see us, me and mum that is, he couldn't see what his shuffling away did. For the past 56 years or so he'd done his bit and on that warm July night with a pulsating, rough skinned throat he went away.
I miss him... especially now, as I have some good stuff to talk about. Forever and ever I've yakked to him about everything, from boys to men, from pennies to pounds, from despair to elation...And he always had points to make, some I fought him over but mostly my in-house Solomon was right on the money mate.
Fuck death.


Anyway mateys today I flew from a to b then back to a, no car to carry me, it being in for an MOT. So bussing it with a team of old dears I hopped a ride to Hockley.
The sun was out that's for sure, because there was a positive infestation of buggy pushers, idling chatty workmen, crippled male warriors with bad hands and bronzed women in pink polyester tops with bare arms.

In my first shop I bought a pair of 'sapphire and diamond' ear rings for 50p. Keeping with the pair thing, I bagged a pair of cracking M&S jeans in faded black. £2. I was soooo happy.
Then I popped to the Co-Op for a red pepper and Sweetheart cabbage. The cashier reminded me of a young Margaret Thatcher and the jolly woman in a lemon ensemble behind me told me she had ' a full house for the weekend' ....I suppose that's why her trolley was bending under the weight of cola, toilet tissue and 'reduced' sausage rolls. She had crooked mauve lipped smile. 80 if a day.

Ok.
So far so excellent.
Then came the scary bit. Into the post office for a set of pics, I went in looking like an English Rose or so I thought but when handed the pics I told 'Jack' his camera must have a colour malfunction..I looked like I'd been dipped in creosote.
Still we had a chuckle Jack the Postmaster and I, him saying I had lovely eyes and would I like another bag of Mintoes ( a favourite of mine).
I declined because I'd got what I wanted so left him chattering on like a parrot about Indian summers... he should know.

Back on the bus with old dolls-a plenty, I twiddled with my new ear rings. Imagining them glinting in candlelight or being tugged at by a rough lover.
Dream over I alighted near a pub....
I felt rather pleased with myself and so having a few bob left I ditched the idea of beans on toast and tea and decided instead to have a pint of wallop and bag of crisps.
I would never have done that before but I felt enthused and happy on account of the weather and Hope....

So today has been a dream, didn't do much at all really, nothing I don't usually do.. the alcohol stop being the exception of course...., but I felt optimistic, feeling as if things are changing for the better..
And oh my giddy aunt did that beer taste good upon my upturned English Rose lips...

If I could have one, no let's be greedy, let's ask for two, if I could have two wishes they'd be more days like today and, well, I think you know the other;)

Tom Sizemore

Actor.

First fell in lust with Tommy boy when eyeing him up in 'Heat' ( the best heist movie ever made). Anyway Tom played Michael Cheritto, crew member, who, when out to rob and shoot wore a grey suit and shades, this had silly girl here, gasping. "Oh my Lord". I panted... and from that damp moment on Tom has been favourited:)

Reasons for falling in lust:

Short grey hair. Everywhere I expect. Yum.
Drop Everything Gorgeous.
Chunky chops.


Out of 1o for 'I would'.

Ain't a number been invented hun.



Back to real life...
I have to get a small I.D pic done today. Probably drop into the post office for that. Unlike awful passport pic in this one I'll grin;)

Info about our tea..later.

Being rustled up for tonight's tea is Chicken Banjo.

Legs. Skinned.
Red onions. Sliced finely.
Some Chicken Stock.
A lot of runny honey.
A glug of Red Wine Vinegar.
6 thinly sliced Garlic cloves.
A five second squeeze of Tomato Puree.
Black pepper.
A miserly amount of salt.
A carefree shower of Tabasco.

Fry legs till browned off. Remove and place in your best casserole dish. Add onions to pan, cook till soft and slithery.
Lay upon legs.

Add the sauce ingredients to pan, making sure to scrape up bits of fallen bird flesh, stir to a roaring boil then pour over legs. (Shut up Digger, I know my syntax sometimes fails me).
Put lid on and oven cook for a while.
Then, after a long time, I'll carefully splatter the cooked bird bits on oval platters and serve with crisp jacket tatties. (A little crunch setting the softness off nicely.)

Other Non-Essential but Interesting New:

Bought a second-hand Damart Cardi today, Royal red embroidered with jet black beads. I'll cross dress as Miss Marple/Rtd. Dominatrix.

I charmed the interviewer with my knowledge of old people's requirements and food poisoning at yesterday's job interview... at yesterday's job interview...

Bought some fab mascara in blackest black;) My eyes have never looked spookier.

Now I must fly..............
More tomorrow plus another Man pic;)

Russell Crowe

Actor.
Main claim to fame, playing Maximus in Gladiator.

Reasons for fancying the armour off of him...

His full throatal voice.
Handsome too.
Chunky sometimes as well.
In other words...The full fat package.


Out of 10 for 'I would' ?

Are you joking?
Russ gets a Massive Thumbs Up from this spectator.


And so, after a gruelling day yesterday, I now rest easy.

Liev Schreiber

Actor.
Starred in remake of The Omen.
I have it on video so any time I feel a little lonely/dispossessed I can hit 'play' and be in safe arms.

Reasons for liking:

A soft ruggedness.

Out of 10 for 'I would' ?

11. Anywhere.... even on an altar:)

Um....

Feeling a little glurky on account of stuff.
Mum. Jobs. Right knee. Taking a wrong turn whilst out in me motor.
But all these trifles can be soothed by a good day tomorrow. X



Just a rant regarding last week's X Factor.

I thought SiCo had a duty of care towards the auditionees, obviously not. One woman, can't remember her name, came on stage with a bunch of flowers for Louis Walsh then, after handing them to him, began to sing. She couldn't. Her voice not improving since the last time she auditioned a couple of years ago.

The middle aged woman looked distant, in a catastrophically deluded world of her own, yet she sang on with not many interruptions. It was painful. It was show biz!
The woman/wannabee star was fodder, plain and simple. Her lack of vocals, style and awareness grist to SiCo's mill. If she was treated like this in any other area of life heads would roll.. It was tantamount to abuse.

When the cocksure swagger out without a voice, but with balls and a big mouth, the jury aren't so cruel. But when someone doesn't have street cred they are left centre stage like the bearded lady at the fun fair... so the beautiful people can enjoy.

Bless your heart darling....

Cooking tonight:
A fav..sausage saxony...lots of mash too. For pud...chocolate cake...which has just reminded me The Great British Bake Off....Tonight.... the 5 gals will be cooking desserts. Yum. One not to miss.

So after a bit of telly and a bit of sausage I'm off to bed. :)

Howard Webb

Booed and threatened ex-cop ref.
Even had a song made just for him. Lyrics not kind. Mostly about how dead some footie fans wish he was.


Reasons for lusting...

Imagining him telling me to 'SHUT UP'.


Out of 10 for 'I would' ?
A thousand million:)

Richard Dawkins

I'm attracted to above average intelligence men
So I'm stuck on Dicky.
And there's nothing I'd rather do than discuss God with the Bookish Beast.

More reasons for fancying him...

Effortless suaveness.
Grey silky hair
Come-to-the-library eyes.

Out of 10 for 'I would'
11


More men tomorrow..

Taylor Hicks

Singer/soul man/joker

First fell in love with this gravelly voiced hunk in 2007 when seeing him on American Idol. So joined a fansite and was fast tracked to Moderator status on account of my fabulously well written posts. As a Brit I was in the minority and quickly became known as The English Lady. I cyber- friended a few people and am still in contact with two, Jerry from San Francisco and the Duchess of Michigan the funky ballsy Ms J. I love them both. Have met Jerry and hope one day to share a few beers with the Duchess. I'm glad I fell deeply in love with Taylor because I found two other loves along the way...

Taylor won the 2007 season of A.I. and went on to star in Grease.

Why I fancied him?

Grey hair.
Brown eyes.
Funny.
Husky voice.
Larger gentleman.

Out of 10 for 'I would'
10

Next week I won't be nattering about beef instead I'll be posting pics of all my favourite Hunks.


Giggly Girly Glo X

A Late Night With Denzel

I'm still in my nightie!
And not a chance in hell of getting dressed.
Just yet.
You see I had a late night last night.

After I'd served dinner we (she) decided that it'd be good fun to watch 'The Siege' with the "not bad for a black man" Denzel Washington. Yum.
So there we sat, Mother, John and I eating late night chocolate cake watching the FBI take on Ali Waziri et al.
Bless.
Yawn.

Would it be gauche, unclean or even unladylike if I blogged and peeled onions with my hair sticking up?
Would I be deemed un-daughterly if I told Mother that all day viewing of Poirot, Frost, Foyle and Jack Regan is NOT good and that a brisk trip around the weeds is far more beneficial?
Would I be seen as a little madam if I asked Her not to leave busted pill packets by the marmalade and headscarves on the lamp?

There she sits like an elf on a toadstool watching Poirot solve another ghastly murder while I teeter on the office chair unkempt and in need of a good something or other.
Groan.

Just to show that my plans for the perfect matricide are still simmering away nicely I will, after de-cobwebbing my eyeballs, make a fresh pot of tea for Her.

Mum and me shopped till she dropped, so to speak. After days of looking forward to a day-by-the-seaside shopping, the lovely old girl could only manage 90 minutes..
But they were fruitful minutes.
We first visited the British Heart Foundation's huge secondhand furniture charity shop on the sea front, where barking gulls out droned the sound of workmen's equipment somewhere close by.
In the big shop we shuffled around looking at once loved tables, sofas and bookcases and sitting on one bookcase next to a flowered plate were two blue and white china cats.
Mum told me to get them so I did, they now sit beautifully on my kitchen windowsill. She paid for them saying that's what money is for.

As we gazed open mouthed at a variety of old wooden chairs and gorgeous dressers she came over a little delicate so left the shop to sit outside on a bench.
I felt hot because I'd been stupid enough to wear a jacket and was getting anxious over mum's increasing frailty so I quickly paid for the cats and marched up to her with a frantic smile and offer of a cold coke...

After supping the sugary drink we went into the BHF's other shop just along the road, where she bought me a blue necklace, a ring with pale green ceramic stones and edged with diamante, a blue bone china jug and a wonderful Hornsea casserole dish. She didn't forget herself in all this, treating herself to three woollies and a silver tassled scarf.

When we left the shop the sun was beautifully out, lighting up shop fronts and faces, I could have walked for miles but mum wanted to leave...

As we walked very slowly back to the car park a lump got lodged in my throat and upper chest, not because of parking charges but because she couldn't walk without tripping up.
Here we were two lovely girls bagged down with £20 worth of old goodies and all either of us really wanted was to have dad back.

It's all got too much for her I think, and it's frightening for me to watch her disappearing under her baggy clothes. But she wanted to go out and then wanted to come back so that's what we did. I hope our mini-day trip to the seaside did her good.

So.......I cooked all afternoon, making a large chocolate fudge cake and big lemon curd cheesecake, these two wicked desserts will keep us high all over the weekend:)

After the making of the sweet came the savoury (er..what?) A big beefy cobbler is baking right now.... the comforting aroma of succulent beef and gravy and tons of onions and perfect pastry wooing my nostrils is to...... LIVE for.....!


Weekend soon.
More yum.

LOL

It's a great day for a drive I said
so with Mother aboard we cruised about...

Firstly to Southend for groceries then back taking the scenic route.
In Sainsbury's she didn't want to push the trolley so I advised her to keep out of the way of serious shoppers and plant her bones on one of the many benches so generously supplied by the grocer.

I shopped on filling the trolley with the don't care attitude of someone who doesn't care. Being loaded was meat, cream, brown sugar, ice cream, lemon curd, cheeses and many more happy foodstuffs. I'd got half way round when I thought I'd better check up on her, make sure she hadn't been carted off or something, no she was still there, little and pale unlike most of the other lady shoppers who looked liked they'd never missed a meal. I asked her if she was ok waiting for me she replied in the affirmative. The daughter shopped on.

My cashier was the very affable Paul, a young man with very badly screwed on legs whose disability doesn't, I'm pleased to say, affect his smutty brain.
We bantered as usual, mostly innuendo, and his big square face reddened with the blood which soars around his crooked frame.
He's a very good looking boy with the tenderest eyes and smoothest skin and as he swiped my loaves I wondered about him and why his legs were the way they were. I've seen him walking through the store and his gait makes for uncomfortable viewing, it's laboured and heavy, his legs split wide and low as he strides, he must be shattered just walking from the canned peaches to the jars of mustard. But soldiers on he does...
He has the wit of one scarred. Biting. Quick and sharp. But as the innuendo flows his mouth sneers and his eyes out stare mine
Respect.

Anyway I handed him some cash and we said our saucy 'see ya's'.

I lifted mama from the bench of bones then gripped her on the escalator and then we drove home.

After some tea and soup she wanted to go out again, this time to Hockley. So with he windows down and our shades on we hit the road.
Of course we bought loads of stuff...
For her it was books and bags, for me a skirt, blouse, woolly.


Back to a demanding Monty, apple flan and Ann Robinson."She's got a new man" mother informed me. "And she's looking well"
And so the innuendo flowed again............

Cooking tonight.
For the ladies: Liver, bacon, onions, mash and some sort of other veg
For Mr H. Ham, mash and some sort of other veg. He's not a liver man.
Pud will probably be a steamed jam pudding and custard.


I like the boys who do,
I like the boys who don't
I like the boys who say they will and then they say they won't...


I can't remember the last bit! LOL!

Custard Slices-Possible pandemonium if custard doesn't set.
Lemon Curd Cheesecake. Definite ecstasy with first taste.
Bakewell Maids. Frilly almond tarts delicious served warm with cream


Just some of the goodies being made over the next few days.
Mother-On-Board:(
I mean :)

Had a Bovver of Boys lending a helping hand as mama failed to get up to full height when train stopped at Rochford. Bless their hearts they leant like a row of tin soldiers against the door to keep it open and as I laughingly dragged the old bean by the collar of her mac. I said brightly"Thank you lads" wonderring how on earth we'd reach the car...And how on earth I'd get her on a bar stool tomorrow...

We reached it, the car that is, and I booted her in. During our journey she looked pale and thin and spoke about dad's presence, I of course, advised lots more talking to the freshly departed mostly because I wish it was him keeping her erect rather than me.
Being elderly and alone is no joke and because it's no joke I intend to wear outrageous clothes and bother men at every opportunity...


Cooking tonight:
Sausages, Potato Boulangere, Green Beans. Followed by Apple Flan and hugs

I have gone baking bonkers...
And after seeing how I looked in yesterday's pic I'm not worried at all about getting to grips with a Pig's Bum. Later in the week.

Today I'm making a Chicken and Vegetable Pie and will serve it with jacket tatties and spicy beans. This oh so simple pie is a mess-up of a Mary Berry recipe, in the original she used cold lamb and onions and it is very good indeed but as I'm always roasting chickens I'm always left with tasty leftovers.....The veg part is either left-over carrots and peas or a frozen medley of corn, peas, green beans and carrot. Whichever way you make it, this little pie is always a winner.

So...fry an onion till soft and brownish, add a little plain flour, cook for a couple of mins then add some milk and a crushed stock cube (oxo) and stir till thick.
Take pan from heat and add chopped chicken and veg, stir to amalgamate thoroughly, add a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce and plenty of pepper. A sprinkling of salt too.
Allow to go cold while you make up some shortcrust pastry.
After it's rested..roll it and line a pie plate. Fill with chicken mix, cover with pastry, punch a hole in the top, glaze with either milk or egg then bake slowly for about 1 hour. I prefer a long slow bake to make certain the bottom crust gets done..

Talking of 'areas'...I will, probably on Thursday, make Pig's Bum. I found this funny recipe in a newspaper ages ago, I'd been away staying in a hotel and when, one morning I had nothing much on, I'd perused a local paper and 'twas therein I found the porcine fancy.
Some time later...I'd shoved it somewhere and lost it, and it was only recently that I came across it whilst looking for something else.
Rhubarb is the main ingredient...More later in the week...

Worth £5

Mr H and I have our moments. Like yesterday. We had moments then.
Staying up late watching sci-fi films we should have watched three months ago, pecking at messy snacks from a tray in bed, spending small amounts on pens, burgers and emollient moisturiser then wining out on small spritzers wearing £3 shoes and a £2 evening dress (see above pic). Mr H. donned a nut brown leather jacket over carbon black trews.
All our buying yesterday was from bargain palaces and our early evening raving taking place in a pub at the end of the world.
It's always been that way... from day one we got pleasure from trawling around markets, making our own hot amusement and pies...
A kind of marriage made in Poundland! Before Poundland ever existed...



This week I'll be making Pig's Bum...

So rough

So sweet

So only 22!

Nothing soothes me more than a few hours in the kitchen.

Being served tonight:
A homely beef cobbler with boiled potatoes and peas. The scone topping is light and moreish so I have to be firm with myself otherwise I turn into Greedy Gloria!
When cooked the cobbler is unevenly golden with beefy volcanic eruptions spurting up and and around the edges. Perfection and prettiness are not key words in my culinary vocabulary.

For 'afters' I wanted to make something which could be baked underneath the mains and required no spectacular ingredients so I plumped for Bread and Butter Pudding. Rather than use the usual mixed dried fruit, I spread the bread with butter and zingy lime marmalade. I then quartered the slices layering them in a tin dish with brown sugar and pouring over nearly a pint of strained egg custard. I'll serve the nursery food neat!
Some things are best left unadorned...

I see Fabio Capello has been talking again...this time about Big Boy Andy Carroll's excessive drinking. He can drink the pubs of Liverpool dry just as long as he scores for England.

I see something else as well...The X Factor is on Saturday and Sunday. More yelling and swishing of bums courtesy of Dermot and more eye popping make-up courtesy of Kelly and Tulisa. I'm enjoying Louis as usual, he is such a super sweetie and as for the newly roughed up Gazza Barloid I want him desperately.

Now I must fly, my cobbler needs a-tinkering with:)

Had a good day with mum.

And although it was windy and damp we still trotted gaily along...She picking up a book and lambs liver, me a short pink skirt.

It always feels so wonderful being in her company, chatting and spreading the news about this that and the other, we're more like pals than mother and daughter.
This afternoon she spoke so lovingly and tenderly about dad and how she feels 'someone' is with her each and every morning she wakes up.
"If it makes you feel good believing that, then believe it and enjoy"" I said
Tears shone... making her eyes bluer and more pretty than ever.

Anyway that was today.
Tomorrow is another busy day for me so I must toddle off to bed.
Nightie night;)

Update.........

Just finished making an apple pie for mum.
I layered the good pastry with sliced Cox's and sugar then crowned it with more thinly rolled out shortcrust pastry. Having quite a bit left over I cut out leaves (with veins) and stuck them around the edges, then with all the finesse of a cheap decorator I splashed on a little egg wash, just for shine.

I have quite a few apples left, some scrumped , the others handed over to me quite legally by a chum.
There is something soothing and warming about having a barrow of fruit, especially apples, my fridge is bending under their holy green weight.
I think I'll make some crumbles for the freezer so that when I feel like something sweet and don't have enough time in the afternoon for one reason or another to make one, all I'll need do is climb over papers and cat stuff in the spare room and raid my old stained freezer:)
I read somewhere that you can pack apples in boxes of sand and store in the garage if you have one. Imaging that...Wooden boxes stodged up with Bramley's and Cox's Orange Pippins.
Heaven my dear Adam, heaven!

Talking of heaven..I can barely control my excitement regarding tonight's footie match, I'll be there, in my drawing room, nailed to sofa, eyes raw with pure emotion set hard upon me big dusty tv, and, wearing my heated heart upon my floury sleeve, will shout COME ON ENGLAND YOU TWATS!

:)

A Cooks Work...

Made this morning...

A moist 2lb Gingerbread made moister with the addition of a little treacle. It's quite brutish on account of its weight but once bitten, leaves one surprised by its lightness
An 8 inch Lemon Cake baked till the colour of egg yolks. Then, after cooling, it was stabbed with a skewer and drenched in lemon syrup. After the syrup had sunk it' was iced with a simples lemon icing, not so thin it that it ran off the cake but not so thick it would leave teeth marks:)

(Baking is therapeutic for nutters such as I.)

Being made for tonight... Sausage Boulangere and beans.
For pud... Banana Blancmange.
Being made for tomorrow...Lentil Bolognaise.


England v. Wales later tonight, will grab a look in between tossing bangers and driving.

:)

Jose Feliciano Song

Listen to the pouring rain
Listen to it pour,
And with every drop of rain
You know I love you more

Let it rain all night long,
Let my love for you go strong,
As long as we're together
Who cares about the weather?

Listen to the falling rain,
Listen to it fall,
And with every drop of rain,
I can hear you call,
Call my name right out loud,
I can here above the clouds
And I'm here among the puddles,
You and I together huddle.

Listen to the falling rain,
Listen to it fall.

Stay in the Now...

Food update at bottom of post

Tank Girl Goes Dancing...

But it's hard when one's mind is on other things...

England v. Wales. Tomorrow. Wembley. A bit like SM only without the restraints.

Baked goods for weekend. A veritable treasure chest on offer in Hamlyn's Baking Book.

London. Propping mum up and scowling at people.

New boots waiting to be broken in. Tank Girl lives.

The Great British Bake Off. BBC2. Tomorrow. Clashes with England v. Wales. ITV1. 20:00 hrs. After much thought have decided to join the boys.... relegating St. Mary and co; to my Humax. Will indulge later in week.



This morning...early...I cleaned the windows wearing socks, skirt and full make-up.

Cooking tonight:
Beef Goulash with plain yoghurt
parsley mash
peas

Gems

Bought Today.

Hockley Charity shop...

2 round blue and white tea plates
A blue and grey Betty Jackson Black bolero type cardi (with swinging balls). Perfect with long skirt and booties.

Then did the scenic long way back to Rochford...Lots of pastoral views and one contraflow.

And into the Faith Hope and Charity charity shop in Hedingham Place. Much more space and light with a new face behind the counter. A tall guy sporting a serious Mohican. "He's ok" said his silver haired colleague. He stooped under the weight of a thousand boxes.
I smiled knowing this was going to be a good shop.

I bought:
1 pair of blue and white gingham curtains. Really way too long for my wants but with a steady hand and sharp scissors I should be able to refresh the kitchen window. With the off-cuts will make a curtain to hide the bins and if there's any left might cover a cushion. We'll see.

1 heavy cream lace tablecloth. I swooshed it around looking for holes which shouldn't be there, but I found none, it was perfect.

2 large hardbacked recipe books. One a Hamlyn baking bookm the other devoted to British fare. Cullen Skink and all that.

Also leaving the shop with me was a small cardboard backed picture. It is of an old house by the sea and on the still sea a brown wooden boat and in the boat a boy in a red cap. The picture measures no more than 3x4. It was partially hidden in a box of other 'free' items. Items like leather bound black Bibles and red covered New Testaments and posy pictured pamphlets about Love.

The wording under the pretty picture was:

Kindness.

I shall pass through this world but once.
Any good thing that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow-creature, let me do it now, let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.

A satisfactory morning made even more satisfactory by a visit to the fish shop for a piece of freshly fried Cod Roe ...and bit 0' banter with Stavros. Innit.

:)

Another mild day weather-wise, perfect for buying gorgeous shoes:)

Two tone red with 3 inch heels. They'll not be used for walking, they'll just be for getting in and out of my Micra:)

In other news...Whilst at the eye hospital with mum I had an altercation with an old pig. As she stumbled past him trying to get to her chair (he wouldn't move) he groaned, tutted and looked heavenwards chair. I exploded...
After loudly chastising him he turned his back on me and read The Times..
I now know how little murders occur.

Cooking tonight: Scottish Lorne sausage in Irish Soda rolls with American ketchup, corn and Sainsbury's curly chips!
For pud: The never ending Dutch Apple Flan:)

Recently watched a film called 'Taken' starring Liam Neeson. Silly and good with a bag of crisps. Tonight, if I ever get off of this 'puter, I'm going to watch 'Mirrors' a horror flick with whatshisname...Keifer Sutherland. Love gore and chills I do.

The doc about Bill Hicks was different. Instead of hundreds of talking heads it showed the life of the comic through a series of animations. Really interesting and really quite sad. A handsome John-the-Baptist type preacher/comic who gave up drink and drugs only to shuffle off on account of the big C.
Bugger.

I am so looking forward to the weekend, and tomorrow in fact, I'll be out and about getting up to no mischief at all!

Love you allx