Tonight's tea is.....

Chicken pie. Simple. In keeping with with who I am. Vegetables, undecided. Several minutes thinking about pud, then had a mini brainwave, in keeping with who I am...Howzabout, I thought, if I whack together a plain Victoria sponge cake mixture but add some almond essence and a little chopped apple....so that's what I did. After a 45 min bake it looked very good and I expect it will taste very good too especially as I scattered some chopped walnuts on top, only a very few walnuts mind you because they are the King of Nuts and can't be thrown around willy-nilly.
I'll cut a nice wedge, pop it on a willow plate and serve with a spoonful of ice cream.

Yesterday's sweet colourful explosion was WHOA!!!!! A real kid's treat of an afters. Thick with raspberry blancmange, sliced Swiss roll and a can of fruit cocktail then topped with canned Nestles cream and mini baby marshmallows. A carnival of a trifle. 10/10 Food doesn't have to be grown on your own allotment to taste divine.

At the other end of the spectrum..I bought a secondhand copy of Jane Grigson's Vegetable Book. An excellent read. Lots of literary quotes, simple recipes and a lifetime's experience. Wonderful. I feel it will be so liked, it may get stained.

Other tasties...
Watched American Idol and am so pleased my two favs are in the last 24. My favs being Jacob Lusk and James Durbin. Big voices which will leave the voters either captivated or deaf. Screamers and belters aren't a problem for me, I love watching singers spew up their gizzards.
Jacob is a burly black gospel type guy and James is a heavenly handsome screamer who has bad hair and Tourettes. Both men are just the way I like my entertainers. Either touched by the Lord or just touched.

Also saw a doc about clothes designer the late Alexander McQueen. Why do creative minds turn on themselves?
Or was it that his beloved Mother had died...?
Mother.

Another feast was a magnificent three hour fest of Horror supplied by our very own Mark Gattis. (League of Gentlemen) I Loved every second of this fantastic thrill and information packed documentary, clips galore, great interviews with the likes of John Carpenter and other movie supremos. So whipped to a frenzy was I that I lost track of time.
Was wonderful to see a clip of Night Of The Demon,( a much loved devil worship pic of mine) and was excited hearing about and seeing snippets from Amicus productions like Dr Terror's House of Horror....
Especially loved listening to actor David Warner talking about his time in The Omen.
My bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk was relegated to second place...

Other weekend rides weren't as bloodily awesome but supplied respite from total evil. I watched a BBC4 prog (recorded) about the King Jame's Bible. Always delightful seeing enthusiasts enthusing. My pick of the prog was..... loving hands, placing ancient browning bibles onto off white cushions for their protection...


Did I mention my 'new' book? Elizabeth Gaskell's 'Cranford'....(30p)

Gaskell gossiping to a critic said "An old lady said to one of my cousins...' I have never been able to spell since I lost my teeth'.."

Lovely!

I don't know who that old lady was but I bless her English heart x

Now I must fly....................

Hey!

I got me a noo dish, it's very tasteful don't you fink. It aint the least bit vulgar cos it is decoratively subdued to a sublime extent!

So...We got cookies, potato chips, soda pop AND ME so come on let's PARTAY!!!

Glo's Buns

These giant buns are gorjus!!!
Made with an enriched bread dough and served with lashings of lemon curd. Smashing!

Tonight's repast is....Steak, saute potatoes, glazed whole onions, mushrooms and tomatoes.

Went for a jog this morning....:)

Little lemon racer>>>>>>>>>

Last night was a hot night
was a bun and fight night so
am kitted out for
an un-fun run:(


Pics of buns and tums probably coming later
if I alive!


Righty Ho off I go>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:)

OK.

Bought a secondhand yellow Adidas hoodie... not for fashion's sake, just for jogging in. And then I went for a crippling run, managed to get half way along the road before stopping to regain my breath, carried on to the junction where, after a quick embarrassed look around, did a laboured turnabout and sort of ran/limped/ dribbled all the way home.
And all because my trousers felt tight this morning:)

I won't of course persist in this nonsense (or will I?) but I did feel refreshed in a blood red kind of way.


****************************************

I'm waiting for eight yeasted lemon buns to rise and will, after total completion, post a full colour pic.


*****************************************

Mr H. is doing the late shift and so am unsure what to eat and watch this eve, something lemony and violent probably:)




************** ****************** *******************

Was transfixed by tonight's Masterchef especially Annie's outstanding pud of cake and ice cream. Reminded me of a pud I used to make many inches ago...
A moist rich orange cake soaked in orange juice and served with homemade Mango Ice Cream. Have to make it immediately....Like Saturday.

I'm loving the new series and have, of course, found a couple of favourites namely, Annie and Tom.
Annie is small with dolly features and of a quiet disposition, Tom has wild brows is quite mental and American. Both I hope will go a long way.

Talking of going a long way...Just had the call.... so have to scoot to the station.

Nightie Night....x

Sun, dust and my new hoover!

I raced around from here to there...
Checking in on daffs and narcissi and other beautiful growing things. The glorious sunlight powering my cells. Binned a load of decaying tree detritus and saved a bug from death. Me and the bug linked souls for a few sentimental seconds then I let him/her go. And how the many legged thing zoomed>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Cleansed the bird feeder with water from the hose. Splish splash. Sodden red shoes. With recent downpours the table was looking gross and so fearing illness in the bird population I got stuck in wearing pink gloves, it's now fresh and laden with nuts.

Hung out a big blue sheet and one pink sock. Where its mate is is anyone's guess
Vacuumed with my new hoover which isn't a real Hoover in the sense that it is MADE by Hoover but it's cheap and friendly and its vroom vroom made light work of a ten thousand cat hairs. I love it!

Bagged up loads of musty once loved kitchenalia and dropped it in the bin. I have to harden my heart on account of tons of stuff falling out onto the feet of the meter reading gas man:)

Columbo looks better further away. Settee been re-located. Now I can see my red rug. Lovely little rug it is, bought 15 years ago for a tenner. Will never ditch it.

No big cook in tonight on account of Mr H's quickie shift change so while the mighty is away the meek will play.


As soon as I sign off I'll gleam the gaff with own brand polish and get up to mischief:)

Part One. The Finale

Is it the cup that's crackd'
or is it me

Does the ordinary wind seem more bitter
or is it my umpteenth pain

Has the News lost all seriousness
or don't I care.................

Part Two. The Prequel.


Hanging on hook hung the happy cup unstained
but splattered
with madcap lemon blooms
but no saucer for a mate
its naiive greeness smiled
spitting on convention
it was a happy cup:)

Emboldened by you
I ran streets barefoot
oblivious to the pavements kicking
a rain shower then caught the laughing me
and I praised the web and Lord for you

Idle. Alone. Hollowed without chance of fulfilment
The old fire scars my paralyzed legs
and holding the flour jars gaze
I wish I was quickly dead.


This poem sounds good when read aloud...I can give it my all...

The Pixie Returns...

My Lisa has just left:(
And I feel great:)
After a bit o' banter she wetted my hair, combed it up, cut it and after exchanging winter woe stories left, leaving me feeling more confident and smiley:)

It's simply amazing what a difference a haircut makes, not only to the appearance but to the spirit. Before she arrived I felt old, like approaching 60 or something, and was almost on the point of checking out SAGA insurance, buying curlers and trotting online to nab a toyboy and sensible knickers.
But then my angel floated down and now I'm as light and bright as a junior snowflake:)

Cooking tonight: What do you want? I'll cook you anything:)

My Perfect Tea Bread

See...I told you!

Monday is looking up..........

The apple flan, you'll be glad to hear, wasn't too burnt. Will shave off the offending bad bits:)
Will not overdo the eating of this flan on account of the nutmeg and cinnamon which, when taken in largish amounts makes dreams vivid. I knew someone a long time ago, someone who worked in the Co-Op, well he was a bit bonkers and after he found out that nutmeg can send one one on a trip, ATE A WHOLE NUTMEG. Only trip he went on was a trip to the bathroom to throw up. Twat. (True story)

I've just seen a lovely girl win £18,000 on Noel's Deal or No Deal. The 20 year old chatterbox with lopsided black hair and funny laugh certainly gave the banker something to think about. Namely how to get rid of her. But she hung on regardless and pocketted a decent amount of dosh.

My Yorkshire Tea bread looks shop bought...if you know what I mean. No scorched currants, raised uneven mounds, crispy edges or bursting splits, a perfect, evenly browned, straight topped tea bread. I can't believe it!

As the bread baked I lit my lids with a little something pink and what a shock I got. Whoa way to go Glo. Lurve it.

Cooking tonight: As if I could get away with it...
Corned Beef.
Potato Boulangere. Layered seasoned pots and onions covered in milk and beef stock and baked. Takes tinned beef to another level.



Now I must fly....again

Monday...

Lee Mack

Matt O'Leary

Michael Mosley

Flan chaos. Too much filling. Over zealous with Granny Smith.

Hair mental. So wild and out of control but help is at hand...

Still thinking about Lee Mack. A weekend treat on vid, funny northern man with excellent shoes and comic timing. Could court controversy with his views about women's faces.

Still reeling from weekend's horror flick 'Frailty'. Young actor Matt O'Leary gave an incredible performance as the son of a maniac. Felt for him especially when dad threw him into the cellar of death. Starring and Directed by Bill Paxton, 'Frailty' was certainly worth getting baggy eyed over. Liked it a lot.

Another film for me to watch is Akeelah and the Bee (2006) Seen it before but it's a fab little movie about a young girl from Los Angeles who tries to get to the National Spelling Bee. Hard working mum just don't get it, brother is mixing with the wrong Bro's and then Akeelah (Keke Palmer) meets her mentor Dr Larabee played by the outstanding Laurence Fishburne...The contest throws up all sorts, likeable ones, parent bullied sons and cheats... but will stressed out good egg Akeelah reach the final two?

Another weekend televisual treat lingering in my mind today is BBC 4's The Story of Science: Power Proof and Passion. I've never been keen on Science but last night's prog had me gripped. How atomic theories and concepts of quantum physics underpin modern technology. Sounds awful I know but the way it was presented by Michael Mosley, (see pic) a professor type in a pink shirt, made a twat like me understand stuff. 10/10.
Next week...How Did We Get Here.


I can smell burning............Flan Alight Alert!

Bird Does The Cooking...

I'm a bird.
Who loves to cook.
Watch "men's" movies. Killing ones.
Wear silk and denim.
Give as good as she gets.
I cry.
I rage.
I behave in a feminine way.
But will crawl about on all fours when needs be. Loft activities.
When I have to 'wear the trousers' I do so impeccably.
When I float in silk I do so divinely.
I do not feel demeaned when men behave like men. White Van Man though should be shot:)

Tesco has had to withdraw from sale a 'sexist' T-Shirt depicting a pair of binoculars looking at silhouetted Bond style females with the words 'Bird Watching' in bold black print.
Oh God.
In their defence Tesco said it was meant to be humorous that's all.
I agree. I liked it. Made me laugh. I don't feel like a victim one jot.
Check it for yourself.

Float cursor over link....I think. Giggle giggle

/uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20110220/tuk-tesco-slammed-over-sexist-t-shirt-6323e80.html

Wee Crawley take on Horrible Man U in an hour...
Hope the little team leave the big team scratching their heads!
Doubt it :(

So as I prepare a stupendous meal I'll probably be jumping around:)

ITV 1 NOW!

OK. Er....
Up. Just.
Shower. Needs a wipe but good for the cleansing of delicate flesh.

Weird Brunch of half a manky banana and Football Focus. Loathe Lorro. Sorry.
Up the Orient. Poor Peashooters
Down the Gunners. Elephant Gun
Will defo be a weto affair. Probably Leyton Tears.

Prep details of up coming nosh...He he he...
Razored carrots, skinless birdie legs and queer sauce consisting of ketchup, five spice powder, honey, pineapple juice and full on Vinegar. Sarsons.

The Ultimate Fried Rice. Tossed amongst the grains...veggie cubes and veggie rounds, So Black Soy, Whole Garlic head, Tinned ham diced, whisked egg and fantailed Spring Onions. A Chinese/English marriage gone mad. Could Work.

Two poor man's Spring Rolls, Lighter and fewer shoots but still good for Dipping into Healthy Boy's Plum Sauce. His smiling chops had better not be false. Want him to take me there.

Ok.
Rain still walloping down.
Pigeons showing a violent streak by jumping on the empty plate on account of lazy lady's lie-in.
Will attend asap.

Hoorah for Horror. Loads of celluloid visions of hell waiting to be viewed:)

Football Focus just finished approx time 12:58.
Up The Orient.
Down the Gunners.

Now Athletics. Boooooo!

Healthy Boys....

Cooking today...Of course!

Beef Cobbler so easy so yummy. Minced beef, onions, beef stock and mushroom ketchup crowned with mini scones.

Followed by...Coffee and Walnut Sponge. A quick simple cake to make. A regular Victoria sponge mix but with chopped walnuts and camp coffee added. Then split, filled and topped with coffee buttercream and walnut halves.

While on the subject of lovely concoctions..Yesterday we shopped in the local Chinese Supermarket, the building which once housed the London Electricity Board showroom, anyway inside we were stunned, at least I was, by the fantastic array of beautifully packaged Chinese, Vietnamese and Thai food. Being a glutton for lovely artwork and tasty stuff I treated myself to a yellow bag of 'Singapore Mix Cocktail'. It's rather like Bombay mix only different:) Lots of broad beans, peanuts and lentils all infused with spices of an oriental dangerous nature.
I also plumped for a dazzling bottle of Plum Sauce, see above pic. Love the name...

I'll shake the bottle tomorrow when I make something sweet and sour, till then it's British all the way....:)

Yes Nof it's all about love.....

I was over the moon when dad enjoyed a ham roll and then a slice of strawberry cheesecake and then a bun. And was delighted when he said he was having his hair cut one day next week.

Ecstatic as mum tucked into the pot of sausagemeat pasta I'd so lovingly transported on the 10:18...Was relieved when she said she absolutely must have a perm and that the docs said her foot was improving. Only one sock required now.
And we of course talked the hind legs off of Eeyore. Mostly about food and me and what a 'good girl' THEY'D turned out. The main topic of conversation however was Ian Duncan Smith's radical overhaul of the benefit system.

Loving someone is impossible to explain, it defies sense making sane men and women fools. Love makes simple minded humans poets and philosophers, it also mashes your brain in the nicest way.
It's been known to send the staid into hysterics and the hysterical into peace.
Such is the power of the simplest feeling.

Just after nine I got back knowing without a doubt that I loved not only the Big Two but others as well. And whether or not I'm loved in return is of no importance. As long as they eat my cakes and swivel my spaghetti I'll be happy!

Oh Boy!

Me awake at the wheel! With short hair...

What day is it what time is it?

My early morning (still night to me) had me dazed and no mistake, and then on the way back from Southend where I had a little business to attend to, I completely lost the plot...Pulling over in a now rejuvenated Alex, I had to park on a dubble yella 'cos I feared dozing orf on the wheel was imminent....so down came the window.........Air rushed in I sunk a couple of pints and then pulled away.


It's strange how a few really stinking early mornings can not only make you look TERRIBLE but turn your brain from a high voltage machine (like what mine is ) to a stiff sludge stuffed full of depressing thoughts.
Today at 4:30a.m. when proper R.E.M occurs my eyes shot open on account of me having a sweet and kindly nature (promised to drive Mr H to the station....then came the after-effects... At 12:30 my big eyes plus rest of me shut down:(
Falling asleep on the settee wearing boots and anorak is NOT a pretty sight especially with half a cold pie as a cushion!

But after the snatched snooze I glossed my lips and telephoned my hairdresser:)...
She was pleased to hear my voice telling me that she feared I was seeing someone else.
Appointment made and lady re-assured I dropped in a Tina T. c.d. and grooved around the kitchen.
Just to blitz me up.
Just because I love to:)
I'm all awake now........... amazing what a couple of matchsticks can do.............

A Little Poetic

Just now, as I was driving home, I had a thrilling fantasy...
As the road spread in front like a slick black empty ballroom I laughed as imagination gave Alex wings.
There we were alone on the damp empty highway and suddenly, like the snap of a breaking bone, shot out wings on all the doors, and off we lifted leaving wet bumps and signs behind...
With the moon lit up like neon guiding us over roofs we shot through iced air leaving tied earthbound people behind......................:)

"Mrs Norris?"

Er....maybe! says I

"I've come to fix your car........................."

"Whatever you say" I said

The man above (actor Christopher Lloyd) is the spitting image of mechanic man Alan Johnson who, earlier today, restored my 'nice little car' to full working order.

He was LOUD:(

Did something with his battery to my battery, informed me about oil, carburettors, putting the pedal to the floor and the absolute necessity of giving 'the older vehicle' (flipping cheek) a 'long run out'.
All in all a decent oily nutcase.

Alex now............ purrrss:)

Back To The Kitchen................

Wherein I'll be making Nigel Slater's 'Sausage and Potato Pie'. A real humdinger of a recipe, easy to make and delicious to eat. Fab hot with whatever turns you and but equally delicious served cold with your favourite pickle.

By the way... yesterday I did a major re-vamp of the kitchen. (Was having a major- meno moment so all got changed) What started out as a slight re-vamp turned into mega- restructure. Only thing left in its original place? Sink.

I mean I moved ALL.

At one time I thought the fridge would flatten me but I soon got on top of it. The hardest ride though was in the decorative stakes. I couldn't for the the life of me decide what to put onto the bottom half of the blue dresser, which is I'm sad to say is now in two piece:) The top half of this 1960's dresser remains nailed to the wall but its bottom bit has been hauled t'other side of room. Looks great too, so am very pleased. Is bedecked with blue and white paraphernalia and a mousey cheese holder .
Monty's chair gave heartcahe, didn't want to ruffle the kid so slid the clawed rotting armchair about three feet away from its original setting.
He didn't turn a hair.

Now I must fly............
Noel will be on soon and I must say, after watching yesterday's show where the theme was Knights of the Pound table and where all the contestants were dressed accordingly and where the gay guy who was in the hot seat so to speak WINKED a gay knowing wink at Noel saying he looked HOT.....(Stubble and leather) I feel this week's tea time shows could be full of delicious innuendo and unadulterated filth. Oh Goody!
Before 5. :)

Cheerio!

Here's your problem love...

In a minute a man called Alan Johnson will be on site to go over my motor.


Didn't take him long to slide from one greasy position to another!

Love sung in the morn
or Love stashed in the after noon
or Love shrilled at night

Never too late to say
and never a wrong time
to tell
I Love You

At least a million things to do but they will have to wait.
It's sunny and bright and clear outside
and the birds are feasting in pairs
so off with the nightdress and on with the day dress and out onto the paving stones I dance....

Satisfied

...Settled for 'The Brave One' with an outstanding Jodie Foster playing the victim of a heinous assault which she, I'm relieved to say, survived but in which her boyfriend played by Naveen Andrews died horribly. This torment and heartbreak led our blonde haired heroine to buy a gun off of some two bit hoodlum and hit the streets of New York blasting away several mofos. OK a revenge movie but with a diabolical ending twist, won't spoil it just in case you watch it.
Kept me hooked from start to end. Foster was excellent, with enough vulnerability and rage to make her human.

As an accompaniment... a toasted cheese sandwich and Rolos.

Then John Carpenter's 'The Thing' a second viewing in as many days. Eerily atmospeheric with a Thing from Outer Space taking over the bodies of any human which come its way. A wild haired Kurt Russell lead the jolly disparate group of Antarctic scientists having a boozy time until The Thing turned up via a nice cuddly black and white dog. Lots of innards spewed so just the type of flick I enjoy:)

As an accompaniment...Malted Milk biscuits and milk

Eating with Gloria

Hello all

I've plumped for roast chicken, parsnips, roast tatties and broad beans followed by sliced bananas and chocolate custard.
Truly the food of the gods and good homely women.



Tonight?
Hot milk and horror flick probably.

Stoking the boiler...

Gingerbread Guys turning up mob-handed to show they mean business !

Apple Flan for ma man (Men)

'Afters' after the CUT!. And a little creamy stream.

Barbecued chicken cooked in my oven, sitting on a knobbly bed of rice, peas and hunyunz.

Being baked today:

A pizza. Yeah yeah, but this one has rollicking meatballs... to add a bit of bulk:)

Oh cakes and things

I tootled to the shops looking good and feeling happy, and when a woman looks and feels fine she spends:)

Secondhand Goods First:

A M&S chocolate and cream blouse. Small flowers and white buttons. Yummy
A pair of M&S sandals. Shiny and brown with a bit of a wedge. Perfect for Spring.
A smooching c.d.

Then with my heart on fire I drifted into the Co-Op...

Having recently found another must-make recipe I felt giddy with euphoria when buying the major ingredients...a block of real butter, a box of icing sugar and a bag of walnuts.
These along with coffee and other more humdrum ingredients will go into making a squidgy coffee and walnut cake. But that's tomorrow what's occurring today?


Today:

Barbeque chicken in the oven.
An easy good natured dish which will happily sit with its neighbour, an apple and yogurt flan, ideal pud and ideal mate for a cup of tea...
(I'll make the aforementioned coffee cake tomorrow).

Yesterday I made a few large rock cakes, a good traditional workhorse kinda cake which, I'm happy to recall, was one of the first things I made at school.
And although the school cakes were ok they didn't, at that time, have artist's hands upon them.
To the simple recipe I added some chopped glace cherries and then, after fingering them into a rock shape, (I never use spoons) dredged the raw mounds with Muscovado sugar.

Releasing them from their fiery home is always delightful and sometimes painful I don't use an oven glove just whatever is available, the hem of my skirt usually anyway... as soon as they're out they're lifted very gently and laid on a rack to cool.

There's something soothing and reassuring about home baked goodies, but they don't always turn out perfect and neither should they, can't think of anything worse than making a cake which looks shop bought.

Most of the food I make and create has a little madness about it...

Sometimes slightly over cooked, other times, after the insertion of a skewer I find goo attached but given all that I'd still rather make than buy.
While I'm on the subject of imperfection, I once shaved the edges of a burnt Victoria Sponge with Daddy's razor. He was very sweet about it.

Now I must fly all this talk about food has set my tum a-rumbling:)



Cheerio!

Denmark 1 England 2

Jack turned out a good boy, no goals but a confident assured performance. I was a little peeved when the boss decided the youngster had had enough but he knows best.

Darren Bent made me stretch with relief after sliding in a cheeky one to level the match...I started seeing headlines in my brain about Vikings slaughtering the English....Phew!

Then later, as I nutted the cat, Ashley Young secured an England victory.
Sweet.

Well done men:)

Jack Wilshere

Copenhagen
Denmark v. England.
ITV1 19:30 - 21:00

Gloria Expects...

Love You

It's that nine o'clock moment when emotions rule my roost...

How can I tell thee about the love I felt today not only for the lovelies but for the cab driver as well.

Me and mum went shopping but I knew right from the start it wasn't going to be easy.
Mum had looked pale when I arrived just before noon and as she smiled at her Swiss Roll she lurched forward with pains in her back. Apparently these pains have been around for a week or two and as usual were brushed away with a silly defiant hand. But she insisted on going out and so out we went.

The weather was beautiful, so near spring, clear sky and sunlight, so we dawdled, but mum was struggling a little so we linked arms and as we walked we talked. Mostly about how important it is so be healthy."Keep your health Ang, it's all that matters.

By this time we'd reached Superdrug and of course we desperately needed more stuff, you know the stuff we already have in our bedrooms and on our bathroom shelves, but we're girls and we do shopping! So on we shopped.
She bought Brut and creams and colours and wipes, I bought a gold glittery cosmetics purse, a small Nivea and robust men's scent. (He WILL wear it...:)

But all this traipsing up and down aisles proved a bit to much for mumsie so I sat her on a stool. But not for long, she said she felt silly. So up she came and after paying we left for Harrods..Ooops I mean the Trinity House Hospice shop..Oh dear, Never in the field of womanly madness has one woman been so in love with one bag. It was gorgeous. I mean I had to have it. So I had it. Black square cotton shoulder bag blazing with dozens and dozens of multi-coloured sequins. £3.
Mum? A paperback novel about some woman and some man and the terrors of misplaced love. Tell me about it...;)

Then came the fright.

As we crossed the road she grasped my arm saying her back hurt so I hauled her and the bags to the safety of the railings opposite the pub and there we rested. She did not look good. Her lovely eyes screwed and her body hanging over the metal bars. God what's going on here I thought.
"I can't walk Ang" she said "my back hurts".

Dropping the bags at her feet and telling her not to make a run for it, I sprinted to the kerb whistling like a right sort to an approaching cab. My manic arm waving making a group of lads laugh. Twats or something similar I thought as Hero Man badge number unknown left his motor and galloped round to help get the old girl in the back.
After telling him where to go he zoomed off at a rate, took all of three mins, we were after all, almost home. Fare £4. But with a cockney twang declined it... but I insisted with a smile. "Take it" I said "you helped"
His warmth and England sticker made my day.
I think I'm in love again....;)

I dragged mum into the lift then along the the balcony till a rattled dad opened the door wearing lemon silk pyjamas.
We said nothing... either about the taxi or the pyjamas.

The rest of the afternoon whizzed by, each of us exchanging views about Mr Cameron, the NHS and that bloody Noel Edmunds. Dad also warned me, nay terrified me, about what could happen if I don't check my oil. Dipsticks were mentioned a dozen times and how years ago when he worked in a garage he'd always offer to check customers oil and tyre pressure. He went on and on till I told him to stop and that I would definitely stick my dipstick in tomorrow and, if necessary, top up with something or other..................Where on earth do I get a tin of oil? He's worried me now.

Dad tottered on from kitchen to front room and back again muttering nonsense about launderettes and cod. He did though, I'm pleased to say, eat his Swiss Roll...

When I said my cheerios I tapped mum's head of pink rollers and squeezed dad's left silky shoulder wishing I could tell them I loved them. But we don't do that.
Going down in the lift my tears fell.

A bit of a day.

The End

Never again, I fear
will we sing
our song
with free rich breathless ease
for in my throat
sit steady the rocks
of numerous immoveable fears

The day has gone
when once we swam
in deeps awash with life
our arms now tied
by menaces from on high
We pant to swim again

You, dear friend
and I, dear heart
have just a penny for a pal,
and drift
like one winged flies
waiting
for the swat
when you plus I
must die

Afore we do
and afore we go
we'll swim and sing till breathless
and as the waves join us
the rocks will ping
with
our priceless
cheerios.



A.N.

Flan Thoughts...And Beyond

The apple flan was smashing, and made even more giddyingly gorgeous by a spoonful of cream on the side. So simple to make, so easy to eat.
Fab food doesn't need to cost a fortune.
This apple recipe is my favourite.
Makes two medium fruits and 5 fl oz yoghurt go a long way.
This 10inch flan will do for two days, even after guiltily having seconds....:(
Yummy warm with custard but especially moresome cool with cream.
The spicy cinnamon topping is 'icing' on the er...flan. Crunchy, sweet and with the mild heat of my fav spice.

Other news>>>>
Whilst waiting for things to bake I started to watch what turned out to be a truly dreadful film. I'd recorded this thing last night hoping it'd shake me to the core. No shaking took place. Anyway this excuse for a movie was called The Exorcist: The Beginning. Or some stupid title like that. I managed to suffer nearly an hour of this tosh before realizing I'd been had and that it wasn't going to improve... I was disappointed in a major way. Idiotic story, painful acting, and a thin script, in other words... bad all round. There I was hoping to God it'd be similar to the original exorcist malarkey but all it managed to do was have me hit 'delete'.
Out of 10? 2 for the leading man's gruff voice...

(I love cracking horror films but films like 'Shutter' don't come along often. This lovely chilling movie had me shook all over. Wonderful in every respect. If you get a chance to see it, see it.)


I must go now Arnie and the boys are waiting...

Natterings...

Last night as the lights went out (in more ways than one!) I watched a BBC4 'Storyville' documentary about Ronald Reagan the 40th President of the U.S. and from start to finish it not only held me but enlightened me as well. Here was this fantastically handsome man who went from dire actor to governor to President without losing a hair.
A televisual feast. Thanks Auntie.

Today's entertainment will, I'm sure, be just as enthralling, more quality from BBC4. Two programmes about books. The Beauty of Books and Birth of the British Novel. These progs although undoubtedly worth staying up for, will be recorded.
Hectic day tomorrow!


Cooking today:
A lot.

Dutch Apple Flan. Whopper seeing us through to at least Wednesday.
Strawberry and cream Swiss Roll. (London fare)
Sausage and root veg bake. Pork bangers with glazed parsnip, carrot bats and spud wedges.
Likely to be made... a small apple pie with lattice top.

Now I lay down....!

P.S. By the way Mr H's gig went "well enough". Lots of pats on backs and healthy applause (but no groupies) Better luck next time you old git:)

Dreamy dinner, the beef loose and flaking with obliquely sliced carrots and halved chestnut mushrooms bopping their heads above a thick hot cider sauce. Flecks of thyme adding green to the tawny nectar.

Six chunky dumplings oozing horseradish and parsley melted into the stew adding ooomph of their very own. They were, by the way, not regular ball shape dumplings, these were fashioned from a Swiss Roll shape. Make the dough, lay it out, spread with horseradish and herb, roll up and slice. Cute or what?
A small amount of mashed potato and a handful of buttered peas completed the heavenly robust dish.

However....
Not all went well...

My ordinary run-of-the-mill rice pudding got a bit overdone, so instead of soft and creamy we had firm and firm:( I'd misplaced it in the oven, instead of it residing on a lower shelf I'd stuck it up high. Why? Hormones.

But being a resourceful cook and not wishing Mr H. to leave the house tonight unsatisfied I laid over the over- baked pud a quick jammy sauce. Lovely. He didn't even notice...
*
Columbo was fab, one of the better ones. A Friend in Deed. Good story, the usual murder etc but this one was spiced up with a little blackmail. Excellent stuff. Directed by actor Ben Gazzara in 1974. I love Columbo.
*
Mr H. is doing a gig tonight so I will lose myself in the fiery swamp that is my giant red blanket. Will definitely watch a film, which one unsure, but will definitely be bloody:)

*

Great Minds

J.M Turner said God was 'in the sun' so did William Blake and so do I.
Seeing its brilliance this morning is impossible to describe especially after what can only be called a hibernating sort of sleep, 11 hours.

Columbo is on t.v. and for dinner I'm making Scrumpy Beef Casserole with Horseradish and Parsley Dumplings. Pud a prob, probably plump for a baked apple.

So with magnificent sunlight showing up little marks on my kitchen wall I feel I'd better get on...:)

God I'm still here. It's a miracle.
Woke up feeling as if the world was coming to an end.
So went to the charity shops in Hockley wherein I found salvation.

6 mini jelly moulds 50p
A nipped- in- at- the- waist tawny brown M&C jacket. Reduced rail. £1
Two more Tina Turner c.d's. 20p
A love story novel about the lives of two women, a castle and one man. 20p.
Schott's Original Miscellany. £1

Then into the Factory Shop where my heart did bleed after forking out a whopping £3:50 for a Tula Can Opener:(

Then home with the car window open on account of heat in the cheeks.

Beans on toast stoked my little boiler but it was the remaining wedge of cheesecake which made the happy bells ring:)

Now, The Dam Busters on DVD...10p.

Cooking tonight:
No

Didn't feel like driving so had a blowy stroll to the charity shop...

An owl teapot. £1

Two short frilly pinnies. 50p

The ladies of the shop were nattering about the new Haven's charity shop in town, it's been re-named Harrod's by the local lady warmongers on account of the high prices. They should try London shops, where they really would have something to moan about. Last check...£60 for a pair of shoes:(

Being braised today:
Some chicken thighs in cider, with carrots, onion and apricot jam.
For pud, a cheesecake topped with peach and passion fruit conserve, will probably over-decorate with an old kiwi which has been languishing on the fruit plate since all this business in Egypt began.

Ta ta:)

Pathways

Mad on our bed of lickerish*
I turn off the light
and roam
the pathways on your face


each patchy arch
each roughened ridge
embedded in my head

my perfect map is made

for in the nights
and when you go

I'm lost.



*Lickerish is an archaic word meaning lustful etc etc.

First Fish now Fruit and Fowl

Had a hoot yesterday playing fishy name games and what I found amazing was how easy it was coming up with monicas. At some time I'll goof with fruit but until then here are a couple of fowl ups!

Martin 'shove it' Pheasant.

Patsy ' slumper'' Guinea Fowl

Larry ' two tongue' Duck

Nancy ' one shot' Pigeon

Paul ' the master' Grouse

Zach ' pluckenkill' Chicken

Ok enough already...


Today being braised:
Zach in Cider

Today being baked:
An old fav. Pineapple Upside Down cake. With pieces instead of rings. Cooking has to move on.

Fish Fun

'Terry' a snakehead fish, usual home south east Asia, but Tel was hooked in Lincolnshire.

A roll call of Round fish:


Sebastian 'willy' Salmon. Caught once by the frustrated ladies of Gorgeonim.

Marcus ' call me lovely' Perch. Old Black man. Had no issues and no deals. Preferred to proselytize in the Old Kent Road. Got done for loitering with intent to convert.

Jim 'the knife' Hake. Stand in for Jimmy Tarbuck and lover of anything steeley or stolen.

Billy 'Wild Boy' Whiting. Believes he is Wyatt Earp. Lives in Faversham though.

Benjamin 'fat boy' Sea Bass. A slime ball. Closet mesh wearer. Once squashed a wasp for fun.

Tracy 'prodder' Huss. A skunk of a woman. Big boned and liable to break your teeth when aroused. Gummy men can try their luck.

Freddie 'the worm' Catfish. Wears faux furs and drives a lime automobile. Loves Big Al the big bass player. Typical dinner..Jamaican Beans and Demon Rum.

Alicia 'ginger dodger' Conger Eel. Once swallowed a man whole.

Petal 'baglady' Hake. Wife of Jim. Stand in for Judy Finnegan only fewer inches.

William 'the gay swizzler' John Dory. Earl of Hatchet. Cad. Beast. Bottom adjuster.



The register of Flat and Oily Fish:


Winston 'the insider' Herring. Rat faced two timing ladies man loved for his skewer skills.

Janet 'the bitch' Sardine. Tart with no heart, abducted by aliens on the A321 and after experiments, dumped for kerbside collection.

Aubrey 'the silent' Anchovy. A creep. A nonce. Once a snitch always a grass. Loathed by the Berkshire underclass.

Kath 'the boozer' Skate. A laugh a minute providing she's got gin and a pink rock inside of her.

Burt 'ironman' Turbot. Gentle mental giant. Once broke into prison.

Silvie 'razors' Sprat. Reformed gang member. Rehabilitated smack chick. Nick Clegg follower.


Shellfish line up:


Trev 'the dealer' Whelk. Last seen on Jeremy Kyle show taking a lie detector test. Iz ee the baybees farva? After the break we find out.

Tanya 'rubybits' Scallop. Pothead and girl friend of Trev. Kyle regular. Insertions all over.

Sydney 'the whole nine yards' Winkle. Bagged a load from the Swindon blag and went into plastics in a major way. Penis implants a massive rumour...

Alison 'roller' Prawn. Is bald. A take away Indian left her alopecied. Now only digests an English.

Candice 'shooter' Lobster. Isolated bonkers basket case brought up on gun films. Takes no prisoners. Sexually prefers being pistol whipped than being taken to taken Matalan.

Johnny 'drop 'em' Crawfish. Once the David Hasselhoff of Sunny-On-Sea. Loved bikini girls with all his heart then his sandy randy turns were caught on Mandy's mobile and youtubed, now he is the Nick Clegg of Solitary Bay.


:)
That's enough bad fish for today:)

Colin and Chips matey...

Just made a light as air batter for....Colin:)

Colin being the French name for Pollack. (BBC Food website so I know it's correct)

Can't stop looking at him wondering what names I can use for other fish...

Bob for Cod?

Peggy for Haddock?

More later...:)

Shocks Away in Sainsbury's

Sugar up. Over a pound now for 1kg

Stew beef up. 25p, not much I know, but it all adds up dear.

Nanas up. 8 giant bananas for desserts and nerves.
Cost £1:19. Sure they were 99p a few months ago.

Boulders up. Large box of Sainsbury's finest oaty wheaty sugary breakfast cereals in the shape of er...boulders. Not huge proper boulders though, more like knobbly marbles..

But it wasn't all shocks in Sainsbury's today, I found, to my delight, what could be the answer to my cheesecake probs....a jar of Peach and Passion Fruit Conserve!
Rubbing shoulders with jars of the ever-present strawberry was this newbie on the jammy front and it was, I have to say, love at first sight, a feeling not dissimilar to when I clapped eyes on BOGOFF chicken thighs/drumsticks...Me get 8 for £3...What fun I'll have playing around with various permutations...

So onwards to the till I trotted, with a trolley resembling the Dutch Football team...Most items being packaged in 'basics' brand of Orange and White:)
But not the conserve. The conserve was well above what I normally pay for jam but what I lost in dosh I made up for in excitement:)

If the conserve had me hyperventilating how do you think I felt when laid my grubby mitts on a tray of fresh off- whitish Pollack. 'Oh dreamy' I thought 'I can fry this and serve a traditional fish and chip tea. Traditional cod and chips only without the cod.
Can't wait...

Veronica served me today, a wee middle aged lady with thin brown hair and a lovely way about her, and as she swept my groceries over the barcode machine thing we chatted about handbags. She bought a small furry bag only the other day, but daren't tell hubby on account of his misunderstanding of women's needs.
We chuckled.
By this time there was a lively old man behind me awash with clanking booze bottles, we chuckled about that too...

So after the terror of stop- start- stop -halt- give way at the nearly finished new roundabout by the station I quietly drove home...

Will be Lavishing love and batter on Pollack fillets tonight with chocolate pud for pud:)


P.S.
Flew with Captain Quaid last night, and what a ride it was. Fab all action movie with great support in the form of Hugh Laurie of all people. Loved the part where Captain Townes discovers that the little quiet blond chap who can 'get them out' of there....designs 'model aeroplanes' and not the 'real thing'.
A real funny moment...

Now tea:)

Lovely!

After a busy harassed day it's now time for complete rest...in the shape of Dennis Quaid and his aeroplane :)

Nightie x

Below is beauty.

Beautiful moves.
Beautiful chords.
Beautiful showmanship.

The amazing Tina showing the wannabees how it's done.

What's it worth?

Carrying on from my earlier post...

The making of one average sized chicken and veg pie....


one medium apple turnover..........

post-midnight munchbox for Mr H includes chicken sandwiches, beef hot pot and pair of Kiwis.....

de-scaling of very old Pyrex measuring jug looked like my windows..grimy

de-scaling of teeth by maniacal electrical brushing so as to increase longevity and whiteness and by so doing enable me to face the dentist without much fear and stun old Baz in the co-op with my Arm and Hammer smile......

.and bird feeding including the lofty out front which meant dangerously climbing some
height by means of a small doddery table (one of a nest) on account of twat here putting the feeder too high........


powdering my nose up with sand beige how lovely a freshly laundered face looks.....

filling in Avon request form for stuff for old mum whose make-up dates back to Marc Bolan.....

re-assuring the Crumblies in London that all will be ok,.....

crying.... over state of garage door.........


searching for bible........ Salvation lies within


3 digestives standing in conservatory wondering about apple trees, new neighbours the other ones weren't there five mins must have had to sell the house to pay for more and more cars..... and on the third biscuit wondering where my blasted gardener's gone........

He did phone a while back saying something about trees, falling and broken ankles.....Yeah right
I don't love him any more. And neither does my teapot.

watching whilst baking 'The Odessa File', (unfortunately Angelina Jolie isn't a cut off the old block she looks great but should leave proper acting to dad).......

writing out a list whilst drinking tea whilst keeping warm whilst adjusting twisted old socks.......

tiptoeing about literally, on account of not wishing to waken Mr Horsehound (overnighter).

So......... after all that nonsense I wonder how much cash I would have made if I'd been out in the real world...:)

No need to message me I already know..................

Torres v. Horsehound

Torres knocks a ball about a bit

England fan in Chelsea colours... cook, playmate, poet.

Fernando Torres. Footballer........£50,000,000
Gloria Horsehound. Poet, cook, acrobat, chauffeur...?



So here's the question...
If one was to add up the amount of dosh earned for each of the jobs I do how much would I get?
Let's see..

Poems... of an outstanding nature offered on a regular basis, worth a few bob...Entertaining is a skill after all.

Cook... producing delightful food that causes a lot of aaaahhhhs whilst at the same time maintaining ailing bodies. Worth a packet.

Friend....Non-discriminatory, you got a prob with drink... come dry yourself at my fireside, you lonely and cheesed off...me too, so let's share our cheesedness offishness and by so doing catharticaly rid ourself of all that is bad. You need fun in the sun....my shorts are waiting:) Pay? None...

Acrobat... no no-no's in my exotic routine. Being agile satisfies. Remuneration? Priceless.

Chauffeur....Time is not a problem. Tell me the 'run' and I'll do it. Pyjamas ok? Wage ditto.

So who is willing to plump my purse?
Requests via my email acc.