Trudged round the corner to my cleaning job this morning and was met by two very snowed up and cheesed off cats! My employer phoned this morning asking me if I'd feed the little 'uns on account of him being stuck up the line in Harlow or somewhere. So there I was at 9 a.m. clad in an off white fur coat dishing out Go Cat to a pair of frosty tabby cats. After doing what I had to do, which included polishing his Hugo Boss bottles and hanging up his sea of discarded jeans I returned home to Monty whose fascination with the never ending snowflakes made me feel like a kid again. I don't know why but whenever I see him entranced by the simplest of things I go soppy. What a prune I am.

For dinner tonight we had Latimer Beef one of my absolute favourites of all time, just for the record Latimer Beef is just a beef casserole which is highly spiced with ginger, curry powder, Worcestershire sauce and Horseradish sauce. A bit of brown sugar is put in to just to soften the killer blow. Had my own recipe for spicy rice to accompany it and some Garlic and Coriander Naans. No alcohol because not only am I getting a dangerous taste for the Port but am up to 8 stone. I think it's something to do with the weather or something.

Lists are something I like compiling so here's one.

People I'd Like To See OFF My Television Screen Forever.

1.Alan Titchmarsh because he's an embarrassment and tries to be a sex god when really all he is is an old gardener with a silly hairstyle
2.Paula Abdul because she's shrinking and looking quite middle aged even though she's rich and has dyed teeth
3.Fiona Bruce (newsreader) because she reminds me of Mr Spock and has dyed hair
4.Jamie Oliver (chef) because he's a mockney and should have his incisors chiselled.
5. Jeremy Clarkson because he shouts and reckons himself and instead of packing a six pack he's lugging a barrel.
6. Jonathan Ross because he makes millions of pounds by being obnoxious, he also has very little talent.
7. Any squawking screeching Weather Women.
8. Middle aged men with dyed hair. See 1.
9. The entire cast of EastEnders because I am addicted to them in a major way and this addiction is spiralling out of control.
10. All middle aged presenters who have taut faces and scraggy necks and are tangoed orange and held in by girdles. Act your age guys and gals. Like me!

More lists soon...