Election Eve

No snow on the ground, no sherry by the fire, no nuts in my hand but Whizzo! I am so excited...
No gifts wrapped in gay paper, no giggle juice, no ice men with carrots rammed in their faces but Oh my Lord I am so excited.
No warblers with mitts outstretched, no cat felled trees, no runny noses, no knee high boots but Whooppee! I am so excited.
No lights that-go-a-flickering, no tinsel in the bath, no kissing in halls, no dangling balls. But Wowee I am so excited

Father Brown, Daddy Cameron and Pop Clegg are no doubt biting their nails in anticipation of what us the good and trusty folk of Britain will leave in their sacks...

If I was to give a present to Gordo it would be:
Charm lessons.
An engraved reminder saying that the Labour party was formed by trade unionists, workers and socialists to make sure that the British parliament represented people who the Tories and others ignored.
An afternoon with me whereby we could talk about when I met Arthur Latham. Who made Neil Nicknock look like Lord Ashcroft.
A train ticket to anywhere. Name it Gordon and you've got it.
Coco Pops. Porridge sings like a bagpipe whereas Coco pops do a strip.
A hearing aid.

For David:
A glamorous week in social housing with no money and dose of fear.
Nits.
A bike with no pump.
A date with me with no expenses paid to Simpsons in the Strand. I'd eat him under the table matey.
A black short sleeved shirt. No roll ups here sunshine.
A bottle of Ear wax remover.

For Nick:
A kick.
A nice pork chop.
A Union Jack.
An evening with me and my liver.
A pat on the back.
A fresh pair of ears.


Cooking tonight:
I've ditched the Pollack in favour of a steak and for pud a concoction...Chocolate, nuts, cream, I just don't know.

Now get out there you trusty folk of Britain and X in a new government.

Three Cheers for Guy Fawkes
Hip hip Hooray!
Hip hip Hooray!
Hip hip Hooray!

Ta ta!