Eric, Ern and Bud

I can't comment on the news because I've not checked in. Yet.

But watching C & C at yesterday's press call reminded me of a bad double act. Possibly showing in Worthing.
The spiteful press guy who reminded the planet that Cammi once called Cleggy a 'joke' set the scene...
In mock shock and outrage Clegg saddened up and stormed off...Then in a ghastly attempt at acting, Cameron begged him to come back.
Eric and Ern they ain't.

I cannot see the pair of forty somethings sitting up in bed together discussing Cleggys new book wot he wrote.
And as for Cam chasing after the ladies wearing Wellington boots. I don't think so...He's more of a rubber mac man.

I am so uneasy about this pact, this coming-together of disparate souls, this pick-up on Downing Street.
Talking of pick-ups...I dreamt that Ms Sarah (Queen of the Empire) Tether landed the job of Mother of The Nation. She will, believe me, be plotting Nick's downfall. The tiny vicious ruthlessly ambitious M.P. is waiting for Clegg to slip up, then she, all 3ft 8ins of her, will, with yellow sceptre in hand, take root in Downing Street.
I'm not all that keen on her.

But what about Theresa (Look at my shoes) May becoming burdened with the almighty job of Home Sec. Blow that. I've studied the fashion queen and apart from her head teacher looks and
out-of-hours clothes, she's really quite unremarkable. But what do I know? For all I know she might have a dungeon.

Michael Gove has been given Education.
In all my life I've never seen a creepier politician. If any Vent acts on the south coast mislay the dummies, just stick an arm up Gove and problemo solvedo.

That's enough vitriol for this morning I'm a Woman with Work to do.
But before I make a loaf I must fess up about what I did last night. For those of you who think I'm nothing more than a hard faced scribbler, you're in for a great big surprise.

After tenderly eating 5 Cream Crackers I watched 'The Abyss' and although it has a great story and marines and oil workers and rats, the bit which tore me to shreds, which had me reaching for a banana was when our Hero, BUD, who was laying Christ-like on the sea shelf and dying, took the outstretched gelatinous hand of a SEA ALIEN.
I CRIED. God, how I cried.
I love Aliens who Care.




Ta Ta!

Another Day Graced By Sunshine.

Which is just as well because I needed to walk almost down to the seafront on the lookout for clear round nose pads.
I got them eventually, being served by a bubbly girl with purple streaks in her hair.
On the haul back I popped into the 99p shop to buy another laughing Buddha, the previous one being decapitated by some unknown force, foxes or badgers probably. Becoming headless reminds me that I too can be a clot in the garden having knocked Jessamy the gnome off the step. Not having the heart to put him in the recycle bin I kept his head and hung it from a conifer branch. Picture coming, possibly at the weekend...

Talking of pictures and stupidity I photographed a giant strawberry today. The said berry was from a Sainsbury's punnet of 'basic' strawberries. I needed the fruit on account of me making a luscious strawberry cake for mum and dad. I'll transport it to London very carefully.
Anyway this giant strawberry is as big as a bulb of garlic and I thought it would make a good photo. So click and it was so.

I don't know if I'm imagining it but all I keep seeing is Nick Clegg. And each time his forehead appears to be getting higher and higher. Or do I need a sight test/drugs test/insanity test?
Talking of heads Mrs Brown was on the telly earlier standing very close to Mr Brown and she too had facial issues which bothered me. Over her left eyebrow a deep furrow was clearly visible. Was she worried that someone might say something awkward to her husband or was she just terribly uncomfortable in front of the cameras? Whatever it was she did look a bit queer. Just nervous tension I expect after all when hubby is fighting for his political life wifey is bound to look a bit taut in the eye area. I like her though.

Mrs Cameron, aka Sam, just rubs me up the wrong way. There's some thing about the gir'ls hairline that brings to mind witchcraft and the dark arts.
On the Liberal front, Mrs Clegg is nowhere to be seen. She works apparently and has no time to travel on battle buses with her better half, the man who will not hold the keys to number 10 but might enter via the back entrance.
Liberals are the most annoying of all politicians but I give them 10/10 for perseverance. While I'm on the subject, if Liberal M.P. Sarah Tether looses her seat she could always sign up with a talent agency as a Queen Victoria lookey-likey. She was on Question Time recently and my God as she sat perched on her little chair I almost fell to my knees, so majestic was her manner and hair.
She may be tiny and slightly overweight rather like the original Queen but Cleggy wants to watch out because our Sarah is after his job, mark my words...

Oh God what am I doing writing so much I have duties to perform.
Being served tonight at God knows what time are Italian style chops, mashed pots and something green.
For pud: Ice cream and mini chocolate castles.


Ta ta