Heaven

*Marshmallows. Biting one in half, then sticking the ends on the ends of my pinkies and playing puppets.

*Cabbage. All kinds but preferably white with pork belly. Red tends to stain pig flesh. Nasty.

*Uniforms. But not the postman's. Or the bin men. Prefer men of violence.

*Male Hairy arms and gorilla legs. What is it with me and hair? By the way I'm getting mine seen to next week That's my head hair not my leg hair. (I do sometimes sport Gorilla legs but that tends to be when I'm sulking.)


*Haldiram's Khatta Meetha. Whilst surfing the intertubes late at night. Exotic, sweet and full of chemicals but such a spiffing chum in your nightie.

*Ginger Wine. In a pint glass. I don't frink.

*Old people. With a full deck and funky hair. Saw a sharp old girl on the telly with razored red hair. Loved it.

*Roomy knickers. But only on days when I'm spitting feathers. Happy days calls for little 'uns.

*Cold sausages. Eaten quickly standing up. Because there's something very sensuous about holding onto a banger when really you should be engrossed in honourable works like polishing.

*Balaclavas. On bushy chested men men clutching a bag of marshmallows whilst also gripping a bottle of Ginger wine and large white cabbage.
Now That's Heaven...