Bartering

There was a knock on my doorbell just after ten. It was a big glowing-in-the-dark man and his hair was wild and white and his radio was blaring out pop music. I stared at him. He spoke.
"Is it alright if I cut Carol's bushes from your side?"
I stared.
Then smiled:)
"Yes of course".
"Ok" he said and turned on his green sandalled feet.
I forgot about him immediately and returned to my pans.
Then I thought about money and my bushes. Hmmm I thought, I wonder how much he charges. So after spying on him for thirty seconds I went out to speak with him.

"Hello, are you ok up there? He was up some steps with a silenced hedge trimmer
"Oh yes I'm fine"
"How much do you charge?
"Why what do you want doing?
"Just a couple of feet off that Forsythia" I said pointing round the corner
He came down and plodded across my imperfect lawn.
"Just a couple of feet? he asked squinting
I nodded and wilted in the heat wondering about the cost.
"How much do you charge? I said again
"£10 an hour"
My heart hit the weeds. Christ Almighty it's going to take longer than an hour I thought and so the idea of having a neatly trimmed frontage suddenly disappeared. But I needed it doing so...
"Won't take you long will it?" I asked smiling like my biggest smile
"No" he laughed "Shouldn't take long"

So I left him to it.

Then about ten minutes later he was banging on my window. "Any chance of a cup of tea?"
Just get on with the lopping I thought, time is money matey and I ain't got much of either I'm a busy girl. Grrrrr.....

Five minutes later he was supping my cuppa.
"So what you doing today? he nosed
"Cooking"
He thought that was dead funny
"Oh yeah, what you cooking then?"
"Pizza, for lunch, I'm baking a lunchtime pizza"
He was mightily impressed because he told me so.
And his face got redder by the minute. "You're making me nervous" he laughed
And I'm not going to pay you I thought....:)

As he piled my wheelie bin with shaved off bits of bush he now and again wiped his plate sized hands down the length of his short shorts, I stuck my head out the window and asked.
"How much do I owe you then?"
"A slice of pizza" he said seriously
Crikey I thought ok, I'm going to get a bit of gardening done for the price of a slice of salami pizza.
"Alright, come round the back way at noon"
And he only did.

He stood in by my table and said
"This have never happened before"
I groaned and served up his lunch.
We chatted about unimportant things, things like stinging nettles, neighbours and local pubs. He was a charming man full of short snippets about his sister and dislike of pets.
I plied him with beer and listened as he gabbled on.

After saying for the umpteenth time that he's never been invited in for pizza he said he should be going because he had to finish off Carol's conifers.
He handed me all his phone numbers and warned me about nettles.
He left a very happy if surprised man.
And I sat with my feet up, a cup of tea and a tenner still in my purse.
Thanks Graham.