Mother Is In The House

"Just a bit of middle aged spread" Mother said as I screeched whilst poking rolls of glutinous tummy blubber

(Thanks ma)

"Yes liver is nice, but well done" She said as I cracked my brain trying to coax her into eating something a little more adventurous than beans on toast.

(Liver is now chilling waiting to be very well done)

"No more fruit, it does things to me"

Ah yes it certainly does, and always in the middle of the night too, thank you dear:(

Mother is in the house...

On the other hand...


"You're a soldier" She said as I did man's work.

You look beautiful" As I fluffed my hair into the shape of an old walnut whip

"Here take this, go on, buy yourself something"

"Mmmm what a nice red" I said

and

"Thanks Ang" After I helped with ablutions.


Having Mum in the bungalow is a bit like embracing a very old warhorse, she's gorgeous in a crumbling sort of way, her mane of hair thinning and grey, her gait so bloody slow, but her manner royal...quiet and unassuming.

I am worried about her though.

She's pale and thin but steadfastly colours up with blusher and lipstick, and she eats everything I cook. Last night's Toad in the Hole being a total success, likewise the blackberry and stolen apple crumble. I served it upside down like a Tarte Tatin with spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream on the side. It looked lovely.

Sleeping wise she's out by ten propped up with pillows and with a flowered scarf around her hair. A tiny tiny lady with big blue eyes who sometimes talks with them. Like last night when we spoke about Him, she went away when she remembered, went back to last year and before, and wherever she went it was a place which brought happiness and then, with a sudden cruel switch she realized her loss, our loss. But hers mostly. And then her eyes stuck firmly on the bedroom mirror wondering if he'd make another appearance...

Today has been hectic again, not for her, for me. "I'd rather go solo to sainsbury's " I said at 8
"Don't you want me to come?"
"No, you stay in and do the wash-up, earn your liver and onions"

When I got home the dishes were washed and dried and left piled by the kettle.

After putting the groceries away I made some tea and put mum away. On the settee she now sits, eyes closed, hands gathered watching and listening to " The Bone Collector"
Gives me a chance to soak her liver and blog. :)