1.These kittens are nothing to do with me, I saw them when I was surfing for cat pics. If these sweet bundles were mine I'd tap their bonny heads with my gnarled fingers and weep uncontrollably every time they burped. Sorry guys, I'm having a bit of womanly moment.
2. Buy 1 leek.
3. Watch the Cheltenham Festival on channel 4 as I make a beef and dumpling casserole, that's why I need the leek. Dumplings are great if they're slightly lopsided and splitting down the middle, but they must be uniform in size.
4. Sorting through my vast collection of jewellry, 99% of which is secondhand and entangled, so I'll spend fifteen minutes disentangling it. Buggered-up beads are bad!
5. Spend pointless time wishing I was less in love with trinkets, cats and leeks.
