A Tender Correspondence part 2

I see no point in waiting until Thursday to post this. So here it is.

Michael

I gave you more than I've given anyone.
You took and took, until there was nothing left for me to give. I had to keep something for myself and that something was respect.

I'm now thinking of all those days and nights when I wondered where you were, have you any idea what that did to me?
Forever wondering who you were with and why you preferred their company to mine. I can't do this any more Michael, you promised much but gave little. I think your 'love' for me was like that of a spoilt person, a person who has to have it all, but nobody has that much to give.

You saw me and wanted me and I saw you and wanted you and we didn't stop for a moment to think about the effect we were having on each other. And now we are both are feeling the worst pain of all, the pain of loosing a friend.

Dear God I wish I'd seen it earlier, seen what was heading our way, then I could have saved us both pain by walking away, by returning home. But I didn't because I was in love and life in your light was good and I awoke every morning and looked forward to our days, I was enjoying my life, our life together.

But it wasn't only you, I was to blame too, because I did wrong, I made the biggest mistake of all, I tried being everything I thought you wanted, I forgot that I was o.k as I was, that it was fine just to be me, I strove to win your love and the effort turned me into someone I didn't recognize, all I needed to do was be myself.
All I should have done was be myself. But I'm Bibi Clemant and I 'messed up' as you say.

We can't be somebody to everybody, that's what they say isn't it?
I just wished I had been enough for you but there's no point in going over and over it, we had our brief spell in the sunlight but now we're back to reality and clouds and yes I do remember the champagne and beans night.
It was the night I knew I was in love with you.

I shall go back to Paris now but what I'll do there I have no idea.

Bibi