Was the only way I could express my joy at being out and about for 90 minutes without mum. God I'm not being cruel am I? I asked her if she wanted to come shopping with Mr Horsehound and myself but she said no. So we left the bungalow and strode to the car. She hasn't been well since the weekend only venturing out on Monday to Hockley that's why I thought she'd like a trip out. But no, she was going to sleep she said.
I've worn my throat dry reading aloud the contents of two newspapers, I've worried about her face and the lumps in her back which are causing her pain, I've smashed plates in frustration. Her unwillingness to see a doctor is tantamount to self-harm.
But lives go on...
In Mo's place I couldn't help but move to the piped pop music, a male shelf filler asking Mr Horsehound what I was on! And could he have some please. Mr H cracked a joke as always while I trolleyed some Fruit and Fibre. Dancing was/ is my way of expressing lust for life. It was not and is not a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. Well not with supermarket employees anyways.
I loved talking to Mike the butcher about the shoulder pork joint I was thinking of buying, our conversation being ordinary, quite mediocre chit chat, about prices and animal welfare. After a few minutes he bagged the pig and I went away.
Then, by the bread, I jigged some more, this time to Girls Aloud's Love Machine. Old Harry stacking the shelves said it was ok to dance as long as I didn't sing, because then I'd definitely be shown the exit.
I smiled swaying my hips in a moderately capable manner. He grinned shaking his head. I love spreading happiness.
By this time Mr Horsehound was wishing he was somewhere else, back in his office I expect, his only real place of interest.
I continued to engage with both employees and customers enjoying not having to keep me tongue between me lips as so often happens when out with Mother, She regards my interaction with ordinary people as false and annoying.Oh but it's not dear, it's me.
Today though I was buzzing. Hell, it was hot and I was doing my best on all fronts, I was letting loose the life inside, the life whereby I join in, happily revelling in social intercourse, dancing in Morrisons.
Showing posts with label terminal cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label terminal cancer. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
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