Team G.B are doing well in the Olympics and being an eternal optimist I'm sure that when Fabio Capello's England team take on the Czech Republic tomorrow night they will do just as well.
My fascination with the England football fiasco, oops I mean team, goes back a long way, I've always enjoyed watching them play, especially when it's a do-or-die game, but aren't they ALWAYS do-or-die games? I can't remember a time when I haven't thrown myself one hundred per cent behind the lads, feeling their anticipation in the run up before a match, their excitement when they knock seven bells out of er...someone and their pain when they lose. Yes Sir, I'm with my boys all the way, from the sweet smelling dressing room to the green and pleasant pitch and then back again.
But why do they always have to drag me and millions of other footie fans through the corridors of hell every time they play a game. Why can't they, just for once and just for me, get loads of goals in the first half and then go into defence or something.
Oh I'm a girl I don't know about things like the off-side rule and professional fouls all I know is that I can't do the hiding-behind-the-settee thing for much longer because 1. I'm having trouble bending down and 2. My heart can't take no more footballing catastrophes.
So as much as I love my boys, and this love is the real thing, I'm not sure if, come Wednesday night, I'll be able to bear listening to the game on the wireless.
At least if it was on the telly I'd get a little bit of gladness on account of me being able to sit open mouthed and watch as Becks glides around in a graceful manner.
But knowing moi, I will be ready, willing, and just about able to love and accommodate 12 fit men in my sitting room, I just hope that when the final whistle blows, I can leap from behind my very tattered settee throwing both my fist and a surprised Monty into the air.
Oh Yes Yes Yes!
So to sum up, tomorrow night I'll have a young black haired male clinging to my frontage whilst I scream blue murder from behind the settee for my boys in red and white.
But what about today?
Today:
The sticking of excess flesh behind the ears with sellotape
Experiencing the joy of concocting the perfect Lemon Puddle Pudding
The completion of a love letter
Plastering face with Concealer in case someone mistakes me for an elderly Leopard when I go out.
Seeing how long I can bend over without fainting
