Euro 2012 It's Putting Puff In Me Pastry!

1 Day To Go...

(For footie fans...there's a link to UEFA in my sidebar)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My head and soul, although in tatters over the fact that I'll probably be out of the house when England face France on the 11th, is relishing the prospect of watching heaps of exciting footie.Sometime. Somewhere. Some chance...
Mother allowing!

I intend to bake apple pasties and whoopie pies for the great occasion and all and sundry are kind of invited to chill out with me and the football ....................No funny business just fellow sports lovers hanging out in the drawing room of me bungalow....sharing bacon and trivia........but not after a day like I had yesterday.
Whoa cowboy!

Major talks with nursies of all sorts, information overload, mum being extra talkative with me but saying zilch to others.
I actually had, for the first time since all this hullaballoo began....a headache of nuclear proportions. Started when I nastily extricated myself from mother's bedside and took cover in the relatives room...Boom boom...the hammer inside my head went. Thought my brain was boiling. Half expected to be found by a couple of Domestics spread out on the floor of the little escape room...
Still, I had a ham sandwich so I wasn't that dying.
Lol!


I took a blanketted mum out again for a ride-along, stopping at Smith's for papers and a small nook where two over painted ladeeeeez were selling home made jewellry.
I pushed mum as close to the tables as possible without bringing them down so she could hold and admire the quite lovely trinkets.
She chose a silvery diamonique watch for herself and for me, a faux pearl bracelet.
Mum's watch was a tad too loose on account of her skinny wrists but later on in the evening, my mate Reg soon had that little prob sorted.
What WOULD we do without the kindness and intervention of the able-bodied.

Went to bed VERY late last night, even forgetting to remove my GENUINE pearl necklace. It felt very warm and moist on waking.



Ok so on to today.
Mother.
That's it.
Will/Must try to relax tonight by....
stoking my boiler with ham and rejuvenating my parched brain cells with a massive inhalation of Clint Eastwood.

Now I must fly.........................

X

ENGLAND V NORWAY

I said England v Norway...X

My whole day is planned around tonight's MUST/SHOULD/ HAVE TO WIN GAME.
I'm already in me shorts and waving a miniature England Kit about. No brekkie just enthusiasm.

What to cook though? For tonight's pre-match tea...That's the thing matey.
Probably do a quick tuna penne thing with plenty of corn, tomatoes and green stuff on the sidelines.
Pud?
Lemon cake with ice cream.
Then settee bound for the highlight of my week, KICK-OFF!



Now I must fly but one final thought...

If I could be anywhere, other than here right now, I'd be with Roy.

Er, no. HODGSON IN.
According to Radio 4.
I'm stunned John.

So after sorting out radiator problems, honest job offers, mother's issues and my expectations for our life expectancy I think I'll overdose on phone-ins...

Dinner will be cold English beef. Probably.

Words on my mind. too biz for explanashuns.

Footie.
Tonight.
Us and Holland.
At Wembley. Where I grew up. Blahblah. Where I lived in a spaceship from race 2 to race 8. Kids eh?

Pearcey. Psycho. Blond. Getting on a bit. Brother of man of questionable views.
Keeping silent over Top Job.
Clever.

"The Special One"
Back in Blighty.
For why?
House hunting and all.
Mmmmm There's a Foreigner in the mix what am I gonna do?

My hair looking so spectacular in Sainsbury's a man said something.

Feeling fresh and fruity.... a big bottle of lemon scented floor cleaner awaits usage. It's the daffs wot made me buy it.

More on the domestic front...
On account of the ageing process (not mine) have to ditch braising steak in favour of hard boiled eggs.
Me no want to get old:(

So. Later on. Tonight.
Pearcey to take the strain.
England team with its managerial nightmare fiasco debacle thing will step out onto Holy Ground to play little Holland. I don't think I can take anymore...
And talking of strainers, a quaint little silver one holding within its jaws 2 tsps. of very loose tea, made just about the most perfect cuppa I've ever wallopped.
Thanks Sweetie.

Now I do stuff with only one thing on my mind...

The National Anthem Being Played At Wembley.
God, I can't wait.
:)

A kind tall lady worker in the Co-Op stuffed some tissues into my hands when my left eye played up. Rivulets of mascara'd water ran down my face turning my perfectly made up eyes into punch drunk Panda Punk!
Didn't concern me how I looked though it was how I felt that mattered,.......shattered! Keeping up with every day mundane matters/tasks/ is taking its toll on my back and brain. But I'll keep calm and carry on. By the way a very good friend of mind recommended Eucryl tooth powder for those stubborn stains. Tea mostly.

Anyway I paid for four papers and butter headed out into the snow packed car park, where not a soul was to be seen..
The car park by the charity shop however was very different, a couple of slow older people battled with sludge and baskets while a business man pounded the path in his inappropriate glossy size tens.
Inside Joan greeted me, her big cherry face breaking into a warm smile. "There she is" she said grappling me nearly to the ground.
I do love Joan....... even more so today................ on account of her letting me have a double duvet, Mickey Mouse shorts and Afghan jacket.......all kind of cut price:)

Have made lots of leek soup and a wholemeal loaf for dinner time.
I made the loaf late last night leaving it to rise by the radiator. Blooming big it was at 7 a.m. and the sight of it cheered me up no end. The soup was made as I took in the incredible news...

So whilst Mother slept I cooked, listening to the News.
Fabio being given the boot by the F.A..... too shocking and cruel for words John. can hardly believe it. All kinds of conspiracy theories swishing about in my head...
Will Ordinary Harry grab the gauntlet? That's what I want to know. Where will Fab go next? Chelsea, Inter, Somewhere else. I just don't know mate.
Looking forward to watching the F.A. press conference at noon, which will, I'm sure enlighten us.

Now I must fly>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Am loving my Afghan;)

Early Thoughts, Bad Syntax, God I was up at 4:30

Ok.

England v. Montenegro. Abroad. Tonight 20:00

Sky have it.

So being Skyless I'll listen to it on the radio. Whilst eating Chilli. Surely a case for indigestion? No I eat slow, especially when bent over a radio.

I'm wondering if Rooney will behave. Worrying about Bad Dads can sometimes affect a kid's behaviour.

At any rate, as usual, I'll metaphorically be on the pitch, with the lads, sliding and diving...doing the Dance of Fear...
We only need a point. A draw would suffice. But being seen playing like a bunch of cowardly custards will do major damage to our standing John.

If the Boys from Montenegro humiliate us by scoring/playing well I'll never be the same fan/woman again. I mean, come on, Montenegro.

In other news...
Up since before the cock crowed...London here I come. Again. In my bag...Furniture polish, Kalanchoe (plant), muffins and elastic.

Now I must fly I have stuff to do...before the train ride, before the mother/daughter chattering and before My England plays...

Wish it night time....

Update.........

Just finished making an apple pie for mum.
I layered the good pastry with sliced Cox's and sugar then crowned it with more thinly rolled out shortcrust pastry. Having quite a bit left over I cut out leaves (with veins) and stuck them around the edges, then with all the finesse of a cheap decorator I splashed on a little egg wash, just for shine.

I have quite a few apples left, some scrumped , the others handed over to me quite legally by a chum.
There is something soothing and warming about having a barrow of fruit, especially apples, my fridge is bending under their holy green weight.
I think I'll make some crumbles for the freezer so that when I feel like something sweet and don't have enough time in the afternoon for one reason or another to make one, all I'll need do is climb over papers and cat stuff in the spare room and raid my old stained freezer:)
I read somewhere that you can pack apples in boxes of sand and store in the garage if you have one. Imaging that...Wooden boxes stodged up with Bramley's and Cox's Orange Pippins.
Heaven my dear Adam, heaven!

Talking of heaven..I can barely control my excitement regarding tonight's footie match, I'll be there, in my drawing room, nailed to sofa, eyes raw with pure emotion set hard upon me big dusty tv, and, wearing my heated heart upon my floury sleeve, will shout COME ON ENGLAND YOU TWATS!

:)

Stay in the Now...

Food update at bottom of post

Tank Girl Goes Dancing...

But it's hard when one's mind is on other things...

England v. Wales. Tomorrow. Wembley. A bit like SM only without the restraints.

Baked goods for weekend. A veritable treasure chest on offer in Hamlyn's Baking Book.

London. Propping mum up and scowling at people.

New boots waiting to be broken in. Tank Girl lives.

The Great British Bake Off. BBC2. Tomorrow. Clashes with England v. Wales. ITV1. 20:00 hrs. After much thought have decided to join the boys.... relegating St. Mary and co; to my Humax. Will indulge later in week.



This morning...early...I cleaned the windows wearing socks, skirt and full make-up.

Cooking tonight:
Beef Goulash with plain yoghurt
parsley mash
peas

Norris A.I. in 2018

Norris A.I. in 2010

After all Becks did for the England team and now Don Fabio Capello has dumped him. Typical. A good English boy been put out to grass by a 64 year old foreigner.

Becks must be livid but he'll get over it especially if his dream of making a movie with Tom Cruise comes to fruition. Have to do something about the old voice though Becks...Can't have you gelled and toned and thrusting a weapon in someone's face whilst sounding like Helium Man...

So....back to footie, the lads with their green shoots of newness sprouting up, smacked the Hungarians. And what a relief that was. I watched it in bed you know so I could dive under the duvet if things got bad.

The whacking we received in South Africa could be the turning point for the England team, if Don Fabio chooses the right players at the right time and for the right games, the world could see the emergence of a world class team once again.

I went into mystic mode last night and all of a sudden 'saw' us lifting the World Cup in 2018. I don't know why or how this fab vision came about, could have been the chocolate Ovaltine but more than likely it was my tortured inner most desire to see my beloved England WIN SOMETHING.
And then I did the finger thing...
I added up on my fingers how old I'd be in 2018.
62.

Oh, F***

Pensioner in Rochford arrested for 'Breaking The Peace'.
Mrs Norris, 62 of Rochford, was arrested last night after complaints from neighbours about excessive screaming. The spritley swinger who has several alias's including little gem and sex pot, told police she was merely experiencing shock and elation over England's 2-0 win in the World Cup Finals.
After being put in the cells she asked if a burly copper could take care of her, for a price. She was later charged with bribing a member of Her Majesty's Constabulary.


Ta ta!

An Awful Rant About A Wonderful Land

My England supporter's stuff is in a cupboard, in the front parlour, with olde birthday cards, candlesticks and broken necked dolls. And this is why...

According to FIFA we are now ranked 13th in the world lagging behind Japan, yes JAPAN, Ghana and the U.S. The U.S.! What you saying to me!!!

We have unceremoniously fallen to the lowest of the low and I am mightily sick. Our highest ever position was ONE after lifting the cup in '66. We have crashed seven places since 2006 and now rub shins with silly Mexico, nutty South Korea and the barking Slovaks. We have no place with these sorts.
The other wannabees including France are at the bottom of this horrible heap.
I am so ashamed.

But my shame will be short lasting because...

On 11 August we play a 'friendly' a 'FRIENDLY' against Hungary. Hoo rah! Hip hip hooray for the Goulasch guzzlers.
And I can't wait...
"Where's me vuvuzela and little horn" I will bark, as I tie a giant flag around me bumps and bits.

Not forgetting my little car of course, flags will be pinned and clamped and then after a drive down to a cheap shop I'll sip sweet tea from my pint capacity England mug...I love my land.

Then it's the start, the beginning, the onset of Almighty Euro 2012.

And so will I and millions of other twits dive into the cupboards of tears for our England caps of passion? Of course will will. Just because someone breaks your soul extinguishing the very fire of life within you, it doesn't mean you ditch them...

Because although the wonder boys stunned us with un-netted balls they didn't break our love. And love for the land is not only quaint.... but immeasurable madness also!

C'mon England....

I'm Sick as a Parrot, John

I refuse to be downhearted so close to my BIRTHDAY!!!

The match was a travesty on many counts...
1. Our disallowed goal and
2. The Germans' Greatness....Young team indeed....

But being a true Englishwoman I shall soldier on by having some sweet and sour pork balls and a nice cup of tea..Oh and by flaunting my perfect curves in the above picture...

Oh dear!

I won't mention tomorrow, the 28th June, on account of it being my BIRTHDAY and not wanting my readers to think I am obsessed by my BIRTHDAY:)

Another BIRTHDAY pic will appear, but I'm not sure when;) Probably tomorrow the 28th June.
My BIRTHDAY


Ta ta from a chagrin filled old fan...

ALGERIA 0 ENGLAND DIABOLICAL GLORIA HIDING

Post Match Lethargy

~Oh God I can't face a roast today, will make do with cold chicken, a big mixed up salad and the last few wedges of carrot cake! Some diet eh!


~The leaves on my courgette plants are turning yellow. But toms are perky, likewise lettuces. The Sunflowers are in their infancy am looking forward to standing underneath their golden heads. Ants out in numbers. Kill? Can't.


~The aroma of roasting fowl is driving my toast filled tum barmy!


~Will Fabio call upon oldie David James for next Friday? He must. Can't see him risking our very life on the sweet but clumsy young Green. There are 11 men in a team, can't allow the goalie to shoulder all the blame. A silent Rooney had his wings clipped, can't afford a yellow at such an early stage. They should have annihilated the USA instead they smacked their botties. Lightly. Not good enough boys, no not at all. Algeria should be a push-over, but as with all England's matches there'll be that old familiar feeling...Dread.

~I love chickens in all their forms. Hot, cold, ceramic, alive.

~Abdo trimmer out and waiting. Must get into a regime. But Argos machines are so boring, think a good rollicking dance work out is the answer. Reminds me...Watched bio-pic of Tina Turner. "What's Love Got To Do With It". Absolutely fantastic. What a gal. Angela Bassett played Tina to perfection. Rocking good mover, sexy, a lady with balls. So later on I will glow within the boundaries of my office to some sweet rocking soul. Only way. New dress hanging in the wardrobe is my stick...

~So in a mo I'll engage my media player and bounce around to Boogie Wonderland. Old stuff but hits a dancer's go buttons like nothing else


~Must fly, two small birds bird needs a- turning:)

Ta Ta!

George And Glo The Perfect Coupling

As Monty and me played kitchen footie at 8 this morning he nutted the ball of death straight into the lamp. He's a decent little player for a fat bloke.
Talking of decent little players I'll have 66 in my front parlour today.

Piffling annoyances like food will be on the back burner on account of there being, and I'm salivating as I type this, on account of there being 10, repeat 10 hours of Football.

First on the grass and on ITV1 is Greece (Feta) v. Sth Korea (Tangpyeongchae) 12:00
then over to BBC1
for
Argentina v. Nigeria (limbs could be lost) 14:30 hrs
then back to ITV1
for
England (God Save The Queen, Spotted Dick, Morecambe & Wise and World Cup Willy) v. USA (John Wayne, Hot Dogs and Perfect Teeth) 18:15 hrs

I don't know if you understand about football but you can't miss a thing, the merest quick trip to another room and you miss the Goal of the Tournament so taking that into account sustenance and blogging will be scarce. Today.

After the Argies match there is only 1 hour till Fabio's Warriors go into battle against Captain Bob Bradley's Marines (I know very little about the armed forces so all you clever dicks out there be nice and DON'T nitpick) So a hot dish will be called for, something terribly English I think, something like a Homemade Peperoni Pizza :) If this is the case, and it probably will be, I will need to duff up some dough pretty quickly. Takes an age to rise....

And as I keep telling fishface in Somerfields, it's only a game John.

I am now in a state of almost physical and mental exhaustion and I'm still in my jim jams. Monty however is taking some sweet rest under the bed of mess. I may join him if it all gets too much for me. But it won't.

Lunch: Football

Afternoon Tea: Football

Supper: Blood Sweat Pizza and Cheers

Saturday's Don't Come Any Better Than This:)

Five Days To Go

Until England begin their fight.
And it will be a fight, because not only will they be thrashing around with sharks they'll also be snapped at by the minnows but their war won't end there...

Fabio's men will also be in the firing line of the great British press and the greatest blogger of all, me. The blows will be bloody and come fast and be without mercy if we so much as draw against a 'little' country. And bloggers too will weep and bleat and curse, and worse, shoot such vitriol that the lads might not want to come home. But hey let's not go there, let's not go to the dark place, we are one of the favourites to win the tournament and with Capello's firm hand and my daily prayers we should do well.

They are having a little warm-up today against South African team the 'Platinum Stars' in the Morelung 'stadium' near Rustenberg, it's just a kick about so don't worry, alright?
In fact the guys in 'Platinum' think it's a hoot that they're helping England prepare for their first task against the USA on SATURDAY. Bless. Big Sigh. Oh God.

I love Fabio.

Popped out earlier and I shouldn't have because I bought two dresses, a necklace and a fish slice.

Being baked this afternoon:
Carrot cake

Being scorched later:
A tasty chicken pie

Being watched in a minute:
The Deal with the marvellous Michael Sheen , who was excellent as Brian Clough

England play the Platinum Stars at 15:00 our time.....
Don't go mad lads, just shove the ball around, no need for showmanship.
PLAY SAFE!

I Am The Best. Except When In Sainsbury's...

I dazzled around Sainsbury's quite early this morning on account of wanting to get back early!
And everything was going swimmingly well, managed to keep to my list, gave the nod to Bob on veg, and did a jig when I clapped eyes on some BOGOF sausages, they weren't on my list but that was the only diversion, I swear.. Oh no there was something else, a packet of fig rolls. Anyway I handed over my money to a startled Barb on the till. "You do look glamorous today"she said her infectious smile making me break out also.
"Thanks sweetie" I said carefully watching the eggs.
"Glitter does the trick for me, especially on a Wednesday".
She laughed then took all my notes. Bitch.

So I was feeling rather pleased what with my bogoff sausages, plump sultanas and frozen chicken, and I had money left over...:)

This is great I thought as I tackled a pensioner with more sausages than me, I've done well today, even have enough money for the Daily Mirror (Glossy World Cup Pull-Out) So I made my way to the paper counter...WRONG! So wrong. Shouldn't have thought about buying the Mirror because next to the papers were....DVD's. Ooops!

I love films as you know, so I thought what harm is there in just flicking through a few?
The harm idiot face, is that you'll spend money you don't have. Well I do have it but it should go to more worthy causes like petrol and lipstick NOT on films.
I looked anyway...
He, he, he, he, he.
I held it, knowing it was going home with me, and at just £4 I could afford it AND a paper.

So this afternoon, after I've sewn some lettuces, made a few Rock Cakes, and shaved my legs I shall, with the aforementioned smooth legs up on the pouffe, eat a sausage sandwich watching...

THE DAMNED UNITED!

A film about football:)
A film about the man who should have been England manager...:)
A film about a big head:)
Brian Clough:)


Here we go, here we go, here we gooooooo!


P.S. Last time I looked I think I was a girl


Ta Ta!

WE NEED ANOTHER WILLY!

It must be the homemade bread wot did it.
After toasting a couple of thick slices I logged on to the BBC's sports pages and got lost in the nets. Love it! I've left a couple of links in 'my fav sites' if you're interested.

The more I read the more I want it to, forgive the pun, kick off!

The Beeb aren't showing an England match till the 23rd June when we play our final Group C game against Slovenia. (Could be the Group of Death) And, depending on how we've been playing, it should either be a flags and pizza match or chewing nails and gin match. The former I hope...
All of England's games will be on BBC Radio Five Live and BBC sports online will do stuff aswell. So there's no excuse to miss anything.

But till then all eyes will be on ITV1 for our first fight against the USA in a few days time. This is bloggo waffle of the worst kind, I haven't rough drafted this post, deciding to let rip whilst the juices are steaming. Talking of steaming I woke in the middle of night screaming! I was enduring a nightmare of horrific proportions and woke up making an awful row.
Yuk!
Maybe it was the night time nuts wot did it.

But after cereals and tea and a brisk rub down with a soapy hand I felt much better.

I am in such an optimistic mood today that even the bathroom ceiling can't floor me, even the mountainous midge bites on my inner arm are nothing more than pin pricks, even the rain feels sweet.
I love my football!


P.S.
Whatever happened to 1966 World Cup Willy?
I expect he's dangling in some wardrobe with his stuffing hanging out yet still bearing kisses of the best kind...The kisses of relief!
I love Willy X

Quick Report...England 2 Japan 1

Many thanks to Japan's Tulio who gave the game to England with two own goals.

Frank Lampard missed a penalty after stuttering before his kick. Capello though insisted afterwards that Lampard will still be Penalty Man in the World Cup...

Rooney was for me Man of The Match, his energetic runs and passionate floorings left the others looking like Sunday players in Witham.
We did see a blaze of his infamous temper though and that is something even Maestro Capello can't curb. I liked it, I want to see Wayne red faced and like a boy with tuppence in his pocket and hunger in his heart. No amount of millions can get rid of the dirt from under his finger nails. He reminds me of Gazza. Wildly talented with ammo in his brain and boots.

We struggled in the first half, allowing Japan to score after only six minutes. I dropped a carrot. I expect the boys were out of sorts and a little on edge knowing that the boss was making notes about who and who not would be on the plane.
Their anxiety showed. It was a game played by fidgety men.

Halfway through the tension on the pitch made its way to the bosses bench when Capello and Japan's manager gesticulated in an unfriendly fashion. Arm waving is the one sure fire way for managers to express their feelings. I was more than happy to see Fabio turn blue because he is a spirited animated man. A man with beautifully cut suits who doesn't mind them getting splattered with raindrops. He doesn't use an umbrella.

If England are to do well in the World Cup Capello will need, in the next ten days, to talk to his squad using every English word in his warm vocabulary.

We need to come out against the USA knowing we can win, knowing we can serve up delicious platters of succulent football, if we don't the Press and I will have their hearts for starters.

Goodnight.

KICK OFF!

England v. Japan
Today
ITV 12:50
Kick Off 13:15
Graz, Austria

According to reports Japan are rather good, even being likened to the mighty Brazil. I really don't need to know that when I'm eating toast.
But I and millions of other England followers will have to wait and see...Again.

I'm up and ready and in a state of high excitement and my sacred Sunday lunch
is being manoeuvred round the lads. AND the World Cup hasn't even officially begun...
THIS is what life is like for a lady fan.

Was I attending my toilette first thing this morning, was I checking the news, was I keeping an eye on old people? No! I was not. I was arranging my Sunday afternoon around 12 fit men. No change there then!
But seriously I am known for being the perfect woman who dedicates her life to family and nature but when Capello's men are up early and ready for a fight then so is their greatest fan:)

Being fitted in today:
Lunch.


*The UK lost the Eurovulsion Song Contest being hammered by the Germans and just about everyone else. Young Josh was lost on stage, his performance not tacky enough for our European 'neighbours'. We'll be back next year but will I?

As I look at my watch there are only 50 minutes to go....So now I must drape my body in my giant England flag and see to the carrots...

Ta ta!

Today

Compost for lettuce growing. Probably local garden centre. Good wide open space and only half a minute away!
Pizza. Making of. Simple rustic affair which Mama Corleone would make. No frilly pineapple. Just thick and uneven and dripping in slivered melting garlic.
Telephone for the old dears. Their ancient push button no longer pushes. They are unable to push when requested to do so. Frustration is bad for duffers.
Eurovision BBC1 20:00. To see Josh belt for the UK in Oslo. Great kid, Pete Waterman song....
Scratching my head over American Idol...Crystal lost out to Lee. She was cool though. Expected nothing else from the gracious busker.
Attaching flag to car.

Ta ta!