Sunday Waffle

Last night we had something new...

As we gobbled up Olly on The X Factor we dined on the most magnificent take away. This treat consisted of the usual suspects (sweet and sour with the trimmings) as well as Red Thai Chicken Curry. Oh dear, Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Good food has the capacity to stop the flow of chatter and to relax one. And we were certainly relaxed.

Olly glided on the stage, his liquid hips sending moi into a most unladylike position..Me ankles scattered the cushions. So love that boy. Essex lad you know. And how do I get to Witham? His voice isn't the best in the competition but he has something which is essential if you want to reach the top. Charm. Olly's a charmer. Very likeable, extremely moreish and the type of guy you could introduce to your gran. Love him wildly!

The other contestants did reasonable versions of George Michael tunes, but the group known as Jedward were hideously hilarious and I won't be surprised if they make the final. Their crazed prancing hides a talent for tunelessness. The Dublin schoolboys can't sing a note and move and dance like a pair of clockwork puppies.

Danyl, with his new haircut was, as always, superb, but as he goes for the big money notes I get a glimpse of his tonsils. What a gob! I feel that he takes himself a trifle too seriously, he has a fine register but I can't see him on MTV.

The Dagenham babe, Miss Solomon was just ok. Like her enormously but the over the top giggling does my head in. As you all know I hate giggling women. Week after week we see the same performance, she doesn't offer up any surprises and if she's to become a star she's gotta shock.

Little Lloyd, who in my opinion should be playing 'puter games instead of singing on the telly, murdered his song and should therefore be sent packing back to the valleys. Cute blond kid with awesome blue eyes who would be very at home in a boy band. Standing alone, never.

The last singer was Joe and he rocked everyone's boat. A little Geordie lad with huge teeth, reminds me of one of my old lovers, Mr Donny Osmond. Joe has a great set of pearly whites and I feel, along with the judges, that he would be more at home in musical theatre. Pop Idol he isn't.

After the excitement of a night in, I went to bed with me ear plugs and dreamt of me curry.


There'll be more titillation tonight on account of me being taken.

To the pictures.

To see Earth's destruction in '2012'.

Hubby will be shoved aside in favour of Henry.

And if he lets me down, his feet won't touch Mother Earth...

The X Factor lacked lustre last night.

It was Big Band night yet I didn't see any proper bow ties, just undone ones. Nasty. And to add to my upset, Jamie Afro sang a U2 song. What was that all about? Olly from Witham gave the best performance, singing and dancing around the stage like a old pro. He dances like an electric eel. His hips going to places where hips have no right to go, a slippery agile fellow who looks faintly 1940's with his funny old man's haircut.
I like him.

The girls were so-so, Lucie giving a sweet performance and Rachel trying hard to impress and failing. The girl group who I can't remember the name of, were cool and hot and had some pizazz but John and Edward were ghastly visions in horrid sugary colours and their insane prancing made me doubt their sanity but they're only teenagers and seem, strangely enough, to be taking it all in their stride including the criticism.
Oh, but they are creepy.

Danyl was superb.
His black slicked down hair suited him very well and he slid back and forth pulling in the crowd with his showmanship. But there's something missing. A bit of humour perhaps. Although he's handsome and cocky and talented his arms don't quite reach into people's hearts. And that's where they have to be. No heart tweaking, no star.

All in all the show was a bit of a let down, but I suppose if every show was thunderously good it could become boring. A lot of ups and a few downs make for real life.
Only the mediocre are good all the time.




Cooking today is roast chicken and a host of vegetables followed by Spotted Dick which is steaming as I type.
"Columbo" is on this afternoon, it's the one about the sex therapist who shoots her lover in the chest in a red bedroom when she discovers he's been playing games with another lady.
Bang Bang.
Wonderful stuff.