Sunday Waffle

Last night we had something new...

As we gobbled up Olly on The X Factor we dined on the most magnificent take away. This treat consisted of the usual suspects (sweet and sour with the trimmings) as well as Red Thai Chicken Curry. Oh dear, Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Good food has the capacity to stop the flow of chatter and to relax one. And we were certainly relaxed.

Olly glided on the stage, his liquid hips sending moi into a most unladylike position..Me ankles scattered the cushions. So love that boy. Essex lad you know. And how do I get to Witham? His voice isn't the best in the competition but he has something which is essential if you want to reach the top. Charm. Olly's a charmer. Very likeable, extremely moreish and the type of guy you could introduce to your gran. Love him wildly!

The other contestants did reasonable versions of George Michael tunes, but the group known as Jedward were hideously hilarious and I won't be surprised if they make the final. Their crazed prancing hides a talent for tunelessness. The Dublin schoolboys can't sing a note and move and dance like a pair of clockwork puppies.

Danyl, with his new haircut was, as always, superb, but as he goes for the big money notes I get a glimpse of his tonsils. What a gob! I feel that he takes himself a trifle too seriously, he has a fine register but I can't see him on MTV.

The Dagenham babe, Miss Solomon was just ok. Like her enormously but the over the top giggling does my head in. As you all know I hate giggling women. Week after week we see the same performance, she doesn't offer up any surprises and if she's to become a star she's gotta shock.

Little Lloyd, who in my opinion should be playing 'puter games instead of singing on the telly, murdered his song and should therefore be sent packing back to the valleys. Cute blond kid with awesome blue eyes who would be very at home in a boy band. Standing alone, never.

The last singer was Joe and he rocked everyone's boat. A little Geordie lad with huge teeth, reminds me of one of my old lovers, Mr Donny Osmond. Joe has a great set of pearly whites and I feel, along with the judges, that he would be more at home in musical theatre. Pop Idol he isn't.

After the excitement of a night in, I went to bed with me ear plugs and dreamt of me curry.


There'll be more titillation tonight on account of me being taken.

To the pictures.

To see Earth's destruction in '2012'.

Hubby will be shoved aside in favour of Henry.

And if he lets me down, his feet won't touch Mother Earth...