Starlight

Today I  bought a book of Zen poetry and was very impressed with it....
"Zen poems are like word paintings. They paint a picture, a very living picture"

.

Here's my first attempt



STARLIGHT

In the halls of heaven
a soul peeped
out

A Tea Set Saved The Day

....Our usual trek into Hockley found us in good spirits, despite the rain. We trundled along did Mother and I, all the way to the post office then did a three point turn to get into the first charity shop wherein a very English Tea Set winked at me.
"Beautiful" I said as my shoulder bag bumped into Mother's head
"Getting it?"
"What do you think old lady?"
And, as the tea set balanced on mum's blanketted knees, I envisaged afternoon tea parties.
"More tea my love"
"Oh yes please"
"And another Date Finger?"
Well I'd love to but it mightn't agree with my bowel"
Ok then sweetheart, have another pickled egg"

Tears are in my stomach waiting for an opportune moment to splash out. My feelings running deep.
And as Mr Horsehound fixes the fence panel again, Mother snoozes watching another dvd ( The Firm) while I prepare the Sunday feast.
It's chicken today. A good solid reliable bird. Nothing fancy about it. No fashionable sauces to trickle or de rigeur veggies to prop up the roasted breast . Just peas and carrots and gravy.
A rice pudding will bake under the bird thereby making full use of the oven. Waste is not good. Waste of any kind. Energy, Bread or Time.

As the bird comes out a dozen Date Rolls will go in. Not made these before. As I type some chopped dates, orange zest, juice and cake crumbs are cooling in a pan while a batch of sweet egg enriched pastry rests in the fridge. Rest. Rest Rest. I can never quite associate rest with food.
I'm making these delicate rolls for mum because although she's conservative in her food choices she will sometimes push her foodie boat out.

The sound of Tom Cruise and Gene Hackman invade the office.......

Things I Can't Give Up.updated.

Butter
Lipstick
Eggs
Girdles
Pastry

What can't YOU give up?


Another item I'd rather not lose is the great British Snorker.
So loved up with it that I consume, on average, two a week. They are always thick and fat, never ever would I engage my mouth in the chewing of a chipolata. What IS the point?

Tonight's fare is baked Cumberland sausages (Sainsburys do good ones) with potato boulangere (Delia recipe) and green beans and carrots. To satisfy my sweet tooth a very small Plum Pudding and custard.
Talking of plums.... Mother's new electric cushion arrived this afternoon.
"Don't want it" Mother spat
"Alright" I said knowing this would be her first reaction.
She really loathes the equipment the NHS offer but she needs it and that's the trouble...
The special mattress, pills, bathroom equipment and wheelchair are not seen as helpful aides, to mum they are offensive, intrusions into her life which remind her constantly how sick she is. They smack of dependency too and there's nothing Mum dislikes more than being helpless.

But we struggle on do Mother and I, and today was no exception. We, that's the ever hungry Mr Hairy and myself, took mum shopping. She said she didn't need anything but she needed to tootle orf out. So out we went.
The weather was horrible, rain and bitter wind but with merry smiles ( me and Hairy) we accompanied glum mum around Boots and Primark.
On our way home we picked  up some burgers at McDonalds drive thru. She loves fries.
She is a remarkable human being, stoically soldiering on when others might falter.
I can't help but be in awe of the old bean. When first diagnosed with cancer we sat in the hospital car park in a daze but without drama she said in an everyday kind of voice

"Why should I be immune from this, I'm not special"

Three years on and she's still eating chips. I'd say that's special.

My Number One Fan...The Nof can't give up Aunt Bessie's Roly Poly, Curry and Music. 

With you on the curry and music but shop  bought roly poly..Oh No Nof!

Sunlight makes a difference (updated throughout the day)

I feel subdued........... but seeing sunlight brighten the grey path and add millions of sparkles to a mass of wet grass, I begin to feel hopeful..
So as mum waits patiently for Nursie I will make a Cheese and Onion Tart.


Later.....

If the Cheese and Onion Tart tastes as good as it looks tonight's tea of Tart, buttery potatoes, green beans and fruity chutney will be superb!
As the tart was cooling I made a Coffee and Walnut Traybake. It's baked now and after I've had egg and chips with Mr Hairy Suit I'll ice it. (Hairy's need for my homecooked food is frightening)
Nursie came, Nursie left leaving something for Mother to dwell on...The idea of laying on one's side for two hours. Mother was not impressed.


Our food is prepared.....Hairy Suit is working hard.....mum is watching tv........now a little settee time for me with a Mary Stewart book...

In the shops today all the old dears could talk about was the weather.
I too talked about it.
But I am not old.
Yet.
I'm hoping to be.
One day.

And God willing, or whoever else runs the universe, I'll take liberties, I'll swish my skirts around giving old guys a glimpse of my gorgeous pins, and if I'm single, I'll bag one or two.



As mum and me looked for something for lunch. I spotted some cod in beer batter. Oh yeah. AND it was decorated with a 'reduced' sticker. The fish was old and cold and past its sell buy date.
Didn't care.
"That fish is walking" I told mum. She concurred.

Also bought was a pre-owned pink flowered pinny and pre-loved yellow flowered cream jug.
"Pre-owned and pre-loved?" Tosh.
It's stuff that's been chucked out.
And I'm mightily glad.
Because if people didn't dump their old bits I'd live in a bare bungalow and be running around naked.

Old fish now.
 

 

To The Church Shop

The three of us went.
As mum is wobbly she opted for the big beige window seat, Mr Horsehound being more robust fancied trawling through the DVDs, I kept to what I know best...Handling delicate flowery bone china.

Then a woman volunteer came along.
Flat grey hair hugging a been around the block face, a black and grey ensemble of sensible clothes and a manner so cheery I could have chatted with her for hours.
Mum however was most ill at ease. She doesn't do social intercourse.
Mr Horsehound was a gentleman with both ladies.

After reassuring mum I'd be quick I looked at the shelves of goodies, picking up the prettiest bone china crockery ( £3 for three cups and three saucers) . I held them to my chilly bazookies and went to the jewellry section... A sweet lilac and clear stone necklace and a lilac flower bangle, mine for £1:50.

Time I thought, to save mum from the nice lady's questions. (she means well)

As I gathered mum up the kindly Christian type lady told me about her late husband whom she loved very much and how they met in Margate and where they lived in Essex and how different it was to London and how old Mildred, the lady with the shopping trolley died three months ago and what a fun character she was. She paused.
And I sensed she could have shared her life stories for all eternity. And I would have listened too, but mum was clearly distressed by all this happy talk so a fond cheerio was employed.
She said I was good carer and would I like to go the carers club at Hawkwell Church hall on a Thursday.
I laughed, smiled, saying I have a very full diary.