Didn't do our usual Hockley run.
Mum way too out of sorts so mum stayed on her Bed of Crumbs. But, for me, a leisurely stroll up the hill to the post office, chemist and newsagents.
Felt odd being out without mum but in a weird sickly way felt supremely blissful too.
I took in all the flowers and hedges and painted houses, I sucked in the warm air and car fumes and stopped now and again.
Seeing as I broke my glasses yesterday it's a wonder I got there at all. Right arm snapped off. Tried sticking it together but that was a rubbish idea. So on the phone to optician.
Other Things I've Done.
Sewing and cleaning.
Made a pelmet. Badly.
Cleaned up like a pro.
Been a tonic to mum by giving her a jolly good gentle talking to.She's depressed about everything, Unable now to wash or go to the bathroom alone. I'm required at all levels. A state of affairs she's always dreaded.
As she fell onto the bed after trying to wash her hands I felt an overwhelming desire to hold her tightly telling her how much I like and admire her and that we will get through this awful thing and come out more alive than ever before.
But I held off on account of never having done it before.Never been a huggy huggy family and so to go from being quite formal to overdosing on luvviness seemed almost impossible. But I did sandwich her hands between mine.
Anyway she knows how I feel
I show her everyday.
Sausages tonight.
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