I'm A Twit With An Artistic Streak

Let me tell you why.

Most people with bulbous knees would refrain from hauling furniture from one dusty spot to the other but not me. Yesterday, with joints aflame, I dragged a badly painted bookcase from the hall into the kitchen and all on account of a seagull clock.

The wonderful charity shop find (CLOCK) was very at home on the windowsill but something wasn't quite right. Something about its stark in yer face position rubbed me the very wrong way so, with artistic hat on I dreamt up something new.

I know I thought, I'll put it by the chipped pillar, only thing was I hadn't a thing on which to mount it. That's the clock not the pillar.
After limping around the kitchen looking thisaway and thataway I came up with the brilliant idea of
the hall bookcase.

I love it when my mental lights come on and all manner of crazy ideas inhabit my head and, without a thought about knees, the bookcase was soon in place.
But at a price.

Right in the corner by the 'window with no purpose' and the 'pillar which holds up the ceiling' is Monty's Armchair and he was sprawled upon it like a miserable old man shagged out by downing too much wallop, but I needed to shove the chair a little to the right to get the bookcase in.....Monty's head spun and his likkle eyes took on a bemused what you doing this to me for look. I did it anyway.
Bitch Mum.

And there, after knocking it into position with my hips, stood the empty old bookcase. But it wasn't empty for long.

On it's three shelves were placed all my recipe books, well maybe not ALL, but a good majority, if I were to place ALL my tattered food books on it, there'd have been no room for the SEAGULL CLOCK.
And it does look cute and sweet and ever so slightly Nordic especially as I've also arranged some blue and white objects amongst the books. Blue and white jugs and vases and a broken blue flowered teacup, this teacup is handleless but so in love with it am I that I won't chuck it. Even when something one loves is of no use any more one would need to be a monster to abandon it.
By the way John did his bit by staying in the front parlour...

Today no such extreme physical activities will occur unless one calls making a tray of Tiffin physical activity.
An Everest of ironing will be looked at likewise a Snowdonia of felled branches. But I am not Superwoman and neither is John except maybe when he takes an interest in my lipstick, so today's agenda is of a more cerebral kind. A little gentle home cooking followed by the reading of my comments.


Ta ta!

54 and showing no sign of improvement...

I'm just starting to recover from my you know what and so I did what all ladies do when old and alone and with a five pound note...SHOP!

As it was such a fine morning I left Alex on the drive and walked, in a floaty boho skirt and tied- at-the-waist shirt very slowly to the charity shop, wherein I bought:

~1 pink embroidered t-shirt. This is the softest sweetest pink thing I now have in my wardrobe. Will look divine with my pink suede shoes. Must avoid all pasta sauces, especially if I'm in an awful hurry. Sauces, shirts and me don't go together.

~1 glass plant pot holder embellished with ivy. I don't have a plant so it's home to a packet of toffees.

~A pair of wild flowered banana yellow curtains. These will be cut and hung in the bathroom. Cut? Because the they are too long. I'm not very good with a needle and thread so whenever something needs shortening out come the scissors. Saves so much time too. Fraying can be a problem but I can easily overlook it.

~A solid silver ring. Un-adjustable. Tried it on, couldn't get it off. Joan thought I was goofing as I pulled and twisted but I wasn't joking, the ring would not budge. So I bought it. Does look wicked though. It's has a touch of the helmet about it.

~A Rastafarian man. Hatted, bespectacled, dreadlocked and 8 inches.


Now a good strong cup of tea.

All Done

As the wind blew in through gaping windows and as the last fluid ounces of paint was spread I was stopped by some thrilling news.
The 'X' Factor is back!
Returning to a small screen near you on the 22nd August will be the over blown judges, the very professional and gorgeous Dermot O'Leary and the singers. And I cannot wait.
This year there's gossip surrounding the possible inclusion of Mr Roberto Williams, who I feel, will steal the show, the headlines and the screams from other less interesting people. But that's showbiz for ya. After all who wants to sit and be made comatose by a dullard. Bring on the real star of the show that's what I say.

So after the paint was eased on, then lashed on, then laughed on, we ate six cream crackers and some cake. And as the crumbs clogged up me teeth I could see the finishing line in what has to be the longest most marathon stint in decorating history. But the end was a-coming.

The end.
What a beautiful word to all those wielding brushes in their underwear and bad plimpsols. By 6 p.m. it was done. All that was needed now was some spicy chicken and a little sit down then the real decorating could begin with silk blooms, wooden cats and new curtains. The artist in me was running wild you see with visions of a new more clean cut front room but not one with no ornamentation at all, after all that wouldn't be me. So as we sat awkwardly watching a programme on Channel 4 about God, my eyes darted around the smelly painted room like an excited child thinking where I could put my giant Chinese teapot:)
By the leaf green sweet dish. I think...

Interior Designer

The work goes on:(
I am not in the least bothered about the mess but I am following Johnnie around with a bin bag:)

As the tin of 'chocolate dream' stands in the corner I'm trying to conjure up ideas about soft furnishings. A little fern green perhaps, with possibly splashes of burn umber and sunflower yellow. And although I like blue I think it will jar me slightly so autumnal colours it will be. Curtains are blighters. As we have two windows I'll be out looking out some sweet but not too chintzy drapes in green I think...

Our suite is bad.
So bad in fact that recently I covered the back of the settee with a tartan dog blanket. The miaows coming from Monty now have a decidedly Scottish tone:) So that's more expenditure, we won't be getting into debt with furniture people though but I may buy some new loose covers. Or, and this excites me more, I might get some material and cover just the cushions of the furniture...:(
Bugger. Maybe it just a needs a good wash.

Oh dear what a to-do and all because I'm 53:(

On the menu today:
Sodding fish cakes.

There'll be no glamour in the HoHo bungalow today because Glo and her half-decent other half will be attempting a major make-over. i.e. ditching the lemon in favour of some 'chocolate dream'.

The decorating of the front room has been put off for like eight years but now the time has come for a change.
So after a light breakfast we'll be dragging the steamer from the loft and dissolving away my rather loved wallpaper :(

Of course there'll be other stuff to deal with first, stuff like phone calls, letter type things and my beauty regime but then it's hard work all the way all day :(

Food wise?
I'll roast the bird I should have roasted yesterday and do something with a can of peaches.
There will be lots and lots of tea breaks where I will sit on the windowsill swinging my pins wondering when John will ever finish!

No, seriously, I am not the type of gal who barks out orders whilst husband sweats, I'll do my bit.
I rather like going up ladders...

More later...Probably during a tea break:)