It's gone ten and I'm still up.
And my eyes are spinnnning.
And the cat is smelly.
And I've got to go out at eleven to pick up John.
And I want my Horlicks and everything.
And I feel like telling someone to shove off.
But I've written a poem so it's not all bad...
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
For The Boys And Girls
A notice in my local post office was asking the good folk of Ashingdon if they'd like to send some sweets and books to the men and women currently serving in Afghanistan. So seeing as I like sweets, soldiers and doing the occasional good turn, I cleared the shelves of the local sweetie shop and boxed up a load of Murray Mints, Starbursts and Werther's Originals. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to send cake, otherwise I would! What I did slip in though was a note:) I will not divulge the content of the aforementioned note on account of it being about tea and sex. And I wouldn't want my readers to think I'm obsessed with either. What I am obsessed with however are sweeties.
Now humdrum stuff.
Providing the weight of the parcel didn't exceed 2kg/4.4lbs it wouldn't cost anything to send. So John and I picked the shelves of Mr Naseem's corner shop clean:) The man behind all this is a vicar who goes by the name of Peter, and along with the confectionery he's also asked for books...Anything but Mills and Boon. I like him already! In future I will no doubt be scouring the shelves of my local charity shop looking for paperbacks which I feel military types might get a kick out of. No romance of course, just grown up stuff about history and battles. But hold on a min, what about the women who are serving Aunty Betty, I bet they'd like to read a sloppy tale about decent looking blonde birds falling for rascals in leathers who torture them with their searing brown eyes whilst offering them nothing but fantastic hearth rug sex in a Swiss chalet. Nasty. But essential.
Anyway today I'll be sending a sweetie box to a far away place hoping the sweets and my note hit the spot. The above picture shows a selection of the wrapped confectionery that I am sending.
God Save The Queen.
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Sunday's Are Such A Thing
Weatherwise it's a sweet Spring day. Sunny and not too chilly. Sky looked very big as I put a few things on the line, refilled the bird bath and feeders, and did some half hearted aerobics by the Buddha.
Cooking today is a small chicken and some veg. For pud a chocolate, orange and banana trifle. Will no doubt have a toasted cheese sandwich about seven.
Messed about with my hair this morning after I'd had some sugar puffs and a jammy bagel, I moussed it up and asked John what he thought. John said he preferred it flatter. So I smiled and then stormed off.
I bought stuff yesterday. On account of me having money.
A cream jacket, half price from Primark, God if it'd been any cheaper they might as well as let me have it for free.
Some golden cup hooks. A dozen for 99p. The woman in The Trade Counter who took my money looked like a Romany. I didn't offend her in any way in case she put the bok on me.
A bunch of artifical daffodils for mum. Would take up some of my homegrown ones, but I'm selfish and want to look at them.
Two packs of pretty floral notelets/envelopes. Very feminine indeed. But I will not buy notelets with cats on. I'm not that weak.
Hold Up Stockings. Because they make me walk better. And feel like a real woman.
A genuine diamante photo frame for mum. For Easter. She's girly and giggles a lot. Especially over fake diamonds.
A pair of Red suede shoes for me. Perfect for spring. Secondhand of course but that's alright, I'm used to it. The woman in the shop kept calling me "Darling". She was ok but very old. And had hair that looked like a brassy helmet. I liked her enormously.
A brown and white apron. Because I want to be professional in my new job. Sensible women wear protection. Brazen husseys do not wear pinnys. Well not when managing a home. Maybe after hours, I don't know.
Now I must attend my rapidly roasting bird.
Cooking today is a small chicken and some veg. For pud a chocolate, orange and banana trifle. Will no doubt have a toasted cheese sandwich about seven.
Messed about with my hair this morning after I'd had some sugar puffs and a jammy bagel, I moussed it up and asked John what he thought. John said he preferred it flatter. So I smiled and then stormed off.
I bought stuff yesterday. On account of me having money.
A cream jacket, half price from Primark, God if it'd been any cheaper they might as well as let me have it for free.
Some golden cup hooks. A dozen for 99p. The woman in The Trade Counter who took my money looked like a Romany. I didn't offend her in any way in case she put the bok on me.
A bunch of artifical daffodils for mum. Would take up some of my homegrown ones, but I'm selfish and want to look at them.
Two packs of pretty floral notelets/envelopes. Very feminine indeed. But I will not buy notelets with cats on. I'm not that weak.
Hold Up Stockings. Because they make me walk better. And feel like a real woman.
A genuine diamante photo frame for mum. For Easter. She's girly and giggles a lot. Especially over fake diamonds.
A pair of Red suede shoes for me. Perfect for spring. Secondhand of course but that's alright, I'm used to it. The woman in the shop kept calling me "Darling". She was ok but very old. And had hair that looked like a brassy helmet. I liked her enormously.
A brown and white apron. Because I want to be professional in my new job. Sensible women wear protection. Brazen husseys do not wear pinnys. Well not when managing a home. Maybe after hours, I don't know.
Now I must attend my rapidly roasting bird.
Friday, 3 April 2009
Mrs Horsehound's 6ft. Bookcase
Here it is.The bookcase.
Underneath the recipe books are two other shelves of recipe books. Much larger beasts but just as tatty and loved.The knick knacks are the best of my knick knacks, the others being displayed on the dresser in the front room.
The lace on the shelves are cut up net curtains which although undoubtedly naff at windows look awfully pretty covering Melamine!
If I had to choose a favourite out of the favourites I think it would be the small round yellow bowl which sits alongside the recipe books. It is a delightful piece.
Now, as Monty sulks in the conservatory, I must take out my mid-afternoon pre-menstrual angst on a homemade Meatball.
Thank you very much.
If you click on the pic you'll get a bigger version and be able to inspect my knick knacks..Close up!
Friday Fancies
The bookcase is still standing and with a bit of luck I'll post a pic later today..
On my to do list today:
1.Looking at bookcase.
2.Re-arranging dust particles from here to there. I'm becoming adept at this.
3.Diving into the laundry basket just for the hell of it. And because clean clothes are running low.
4.Marinating chicken legs for tomorrows feast. Probably whilst watching "Without A Trace" on Ch4. Will have elevated endorphin levels due to guns and handsome Americans so could get messy if the cleaver hits my thumb instead of the drumstick. But that's what being a housewife means. Sacrifice. I soldier on.
5.Will rustle up a few Rock Cakes for John's next week munchbox. Will freeze them of course. Mustn't allow husband's Rock cake collection to plummet. Could be catastrophic for all concerned.
6. Wonder about frocks. Mostly dance type ones on account of I might be going somewhere in June. Long way off, but I excite easily.
7. Rub "Moonflower" cream into my knees. Will no doubt go all the way up. Never know ya luck.
8. Have a Digestive biscuit with my tea at three. Tend to sink mid-afternoon and a little crunchy thing helps. Close eyes shortly after because after an intake of sugar I tend to feel sexually aroused.
9. Change bedding.
10. Look at bookcase.
On the menu today: Meatballs
On my to do list today:
1.Looking at bookcase.
2.Re-arranging dust particles from here to there. I'm becoming adept at this.
3.Diving into the laundry basket just for the hell of it. And because clean clothes are running low.
4.Marinating chicken legs for tomorrows feast. Probably whilst watching "Without A Trace" on Ch4. Will have elevated endorphin levels due to guns and handsome Americans so could get messy if the cleaver hits my thumb instead of the drumstick. But that's what being a housewife means. Sacrifice. I soldier on.
5.Will rustle up a few Rock Cakes for John's next week munchbox. Will freeze them of course. Mustn't allow husband's Rock cake collection to plummet. Could be catastrophic for all concerned.
6. Wonder about frocks. Mostly dance type ones on account of I might be going somewhere in June. Long way off, but I excite easily.
7. Rub "Moonflower" cream into my knees. Will no doubt go all the way up. Never know ya luck.
8. Have a Digestive biscuit with my tea at three. Tend to sink mid-afternoon and a little crunchy thing helps. Close eyes shortly after because after an intake of sugar I tend to feel sexually aroused.
9. Change bedding.
10. Look at bookcase.
On the menu today: Meatballs
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Precious Things
I've been shoving a bookcase around the kitchen.
And after lovingly laying upon it delicate lacey doilies I filled the shelves with kitchen knick knacks. These precious things I've been collecting, have hung about on various shelves, window sills and dressers but now they are housed in a 6ft tall bookcase. The bookcase in question is made of a sort of Melamine, I would have preferred oak or pine or even teak but Melamine will do nicely for now. Got this gem from "Freecycle" a place where people offer up stuff they no longer need and planks like me dash in the car to the Leigh-on-Sea to get it! And this is exactly what I did today.
After a quick chat on the phone to 'Ruth' I verily raced along at 28mph with the window open because I was heating up, and sort of parked outside someone's house...I rang, I knocked, I rang, I knocked. But no Ruth. So I phoned. "Hello" I said wearily "It's Angela, and I'm outside your house, where are you?"...
Suddenly I heard a door open and a voice cried out "Over here". I was at the wrong house. :) Told you I was a plank.
Anyway, after giving it the once over I, along with John, staggered across the road with it. And then. Couldn't get it in the car...I didn't moan or swear or even cry. I just stood and wondered..After flattening the seats, taking off a couple of shelves and scraping some sort of paintwork, we managed to get the bugger in.
I drove off listening to John The Great Map Reader of Essex's directions. Wrong. He managed to get me slightly flustered and we ended up by The Blue Boar public house in the wrong lane. So taking swift evasive action I gave the thumbs up to the bloke alongside me at the lights and duly jumped in front of him because I wanted to do a left!
Half an hour later I was home with my man and the bookcase.
I am now shattered beyond belief my knicks have a new home but I am knackered.
Will post a pic TOMORROW.
If he can find the camera:)
And after lovingly laying upon it delicate lacey doilies I filled the shelves with kitchen knick knacks. These precious things I've been collecting, have hung about on various shelves, window sills and dressers but now they are housed in a 6ft tall bookcase. The bookcase in question is made of a sort of Melamine, I would have preferred oak or pine or even teak but Melamine will do nicely for now. Got this gem from "Freecycle" a place where people offer up stuff they no longer need and planks like me dash in the car to the Leigh-on-Sea to get it! And this is exactly what I did today.
After a quick chat on the phone to 'Ruth' I verily raced along at 28mph with the window open because I was heating up, and sort of parked outside someone's house...I rang, I knocked, I rang, I knocked. But no Ruth. So I phoned. "Hello" I said wearily "It's Angela, and I'm outside your house, where are you?"...
Suddenly I heard a door open and a voice cried out "Over here". I was at the wrong house. :) Told you I was a plank.
Anyway, after giving it the once over I, along with John, staggered across the road with it. And then. Couldn't get it in the car...I didn't moan or swear or even cry. I just stood and wondered..After flattening the seats, taking off a couple of shelves and scraping some sort of paintwork, we managed to get the bugger in.
I drove off listening to John The Great Map Reader of Essex's directions. Wrong. He managed to get me slightly flustered and we ended up by The Blue Boar public house in the wrong lane. So taking swift evasive action I gave the thumbs up to the bloke alongside me at the lights and duly jumped in front of him because I wanted to do a left!
Half an hour later I was home with my man and the bookcase.
I am now shattered beyond belief my knicks have a new home but I am knackered.
Will post a pic TOMORROW.
If he can find the camera:)
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
England v Ukraine
Tonight 20:00
Wembley
London
It's on the telly
As everyone knows I love it when my beloved England play. But I love it even more when it's an important game and tonight's is important. Because, unless we manage to rip the heads off the Ukrainians, the nasty vicious England bashers will have a field day. And I don't want that. So I'm hoping that Mr Fabio Capello has given the boys a thorough oral seeing to. I've always wanted an England manager, or coach as they call him now, to get verbally rough with the players and consequently scare the living hell out of them. And from what I've seen from past results Mr Capello is doing just that.
See ya later lads...
P.S. President Obama was in MY county last night. The county of Essex. That's right, the best thing since toasted Bagels, was in Essex. He landed at Stansted airport just before 8.p.m and I was in a flap. I loved seeing Airforce One, Marine One and The Presidential limousine a.k.a The Beast.
I LOVE AMERICANS!
Tonight 20:00
Wembley
London
It's on the telly
As everyone knows I love it when my beloved England play. But I love it even more when it's an important game and tonight's is important. Because, unless we manage to rip the heads off the Ukrainians, the nasty vicious England bashers will have a field day. And I don't want that. So I'm hoping that Mr Fabio Capello has given the boys a thorough oral seeing to. I've always wanted an England manager, or coach as they call him now, to get verbally rough with the players and consequently scare the living hell out of them. And from what I've seen from past results Mr Capello is doing just that.
See ya later lads...
P.S. President Obama was in MY county last night. The county of Essex. That's right, the best thing since toasted Bagels, was in Essex. He landed at Stansted airport just before 8.p.m and I was in a flap. I loved seeing Airforce One, Marine One and The Presidential limousine a.k.a The Beast.
I LOVE AMERICANS!
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