I discovered that the 9p tree is missing two of its feet, so I spent the afternoon getting dusty in the loft looking for the blighters, but to no avail. So being a resourceful sort I dragged a large soil filled ex-tomato pot inside and tried to ram the tree inside. Nope. So out went the pot. But in stayed the tree.
I'll sort it out tomorrow I expect.
Now I must write in my diary about love.