I popped out for essentials whilst Mum held the fort.

On my return I found her knee-deep in Sky News and Scattered Cat Biscuits, as for me my shoulder was hanging out of its socket on account of carrying:

1. Large pack of minced steak...For the Cobbler I'm making tonight... nothing better beats the Tiny- daughter-looking-after-the-disappearing Mother blues.
Will tart up the old fav with sprouts. Probably.

2. 2 Bottles of Coke....for Mother's insatiable appetite for cool drinks.... She likes it loaded yeah with packed ice and a straw. How one old girl can down so many pints is beyond me.

3. Lemony bleach...for me, really need to get out more. I go from lemon to pine then over to lavender but always return to my true lavatorial cleaner Love...lemon. Something about the sharpness I suppose. A feeling of utter satisfaction...Fulfilment comes in many forms... and no amount of clip-on blocks in stroppy magnolia or namby-pamby freesia quite cuts the mustard as what lemon does:)

4. Daily Mail Daily Mirror...Con/Lab fusion of the sickliest order. This unlikely duo is for her afternoon reading. Methinks her schizophrenic reading tendencies go back a long way, her dad you see was a socialist, her mummy however had blue hair and loved hanging.

What else?
I bought a policewoman's cap.