Bit dark out.
Doesn't match my mood though.
Funnily enough.
I should be depressed because mum is being kept in hospital for a couple of days.
Tests.
But I feel strangely alright, bit tired but ok overall. I must be suffering from some kind of mental aberration. I'm so worn down I'm almost UP. A kind of flight or fight mentality has kicked in/broken out.
It's amazing what the mind can do when it needs to survive.

Anyway...

Two docs, one consultant. All very fine professional people who talked a lot yet managed to say very little.
"Time...tests....waiting....."
They went on.
Nurses excellent. But they didn't know anything either! They were "kind and pleasant" said a washed-out mum.
"Especially Nora" I said.
(Huge woman with parched brown hair. I liked her too. No nonsense, no waist. But as gentle and loveable as a sleeping bear.)
She was the one who, by the way, gave me the best tasting coffee my lips had ever been wetted by AND had the sense/heart to bung a few Rich Tea biscuits in the saucer.

Time went........
Arrived at 9.
A busy place running alive with the sick and their companions. Only got in temper once when wheelchair bound mum, a porter and me were waiting in line to check in at the X-Ray dept....A couple of bleached haired pink jacketted vulgar hard faced probably drink soaked tarts/chavs tried to push in. Yeah right....Dream on you nasty bastards.
It's at times like this when you KNOW you could kill or at least draw a little blood.
Mum wasn't aware but Adam the porter was.
"I hate people like that" he said as he pushed mum along to the room.
"Don't let 'em get to ya" I said, silently wishing their downfall.
Ok over the top. But I felt raw and anything and everything was hurting.
I had to get mum through this day and didn't need louts taking liberties.
They tried and failed:)

After 10 hours...
Mum was moved to another ward where I did my best to reassure her. Where I found the words God only knows, but somehow they popped out from behind my arid tongue landing like drops of Evian on her dry pasty face.
Left at 8.
My walk to the outside was made light knowing that a pal was picking me up.
A real tonic.
A friend.


Now I must.................fly? Not on your nelly, I'm taking it easy...
Tea, bed and a motherless quiet stillness...



:(