"Hallo Hallo, I want the crap job... whaddya mean I've gotta fill a form in some time in the future and wait till Boss man gets back from Utah, I'm telling ya I can do this, no you're not listening I can stack and yack and bring more customers in than you've ever dreamt of... now get off the fone and do the one thing you were put on this earth to do...Make the best decision you've ever made. Hire me!"I phoned about a minimum wage menial job today...The self important guy on the phone a.k.a God, hurled this lot...My italicised replies are fiction but they went through my head like a dose of salts...
"Are you fully experienced?"
I don't think it'd take fully forever to learn the art of Shelf du Fill.
"Are you people orientated?"
I lean towards certain types, yes.
"Could you do Bank Holidays and some Saturdays and some late nights and cover for people when they're off or on maternity leave"
You betcha! I also leap through hoops of fire without n.h.s protection
"Have you done this before?"
What talk on the phone? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yes...My real name is Fonehooker darling and I realllllly love talking dirty to twats like you about slave jobs in the private sector.... it really turns me on. Hun.
"Can you call in LATE NEXT week for an application form?"
Next week? I'll be off the boil by then dear.
"The owner is in America on business and won't be back for a little while so..."
So bye bye!"
:)
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