Monday, 2 August 2010

On The Cards Today

Cooking, general pottering and oiling of knees.

Cooking will be done in a saintly manner with me wearing the pinny of purity.

General pottering will be undertaken slowly and with great style on account of age, knees and theatrical leanings.

Now the Important if Gross one.
Oiling of knees.

These knees are mine and are giving me a lot of grief John. Blown up to Barbaric Melon size due to Arthritic flare-up. Pondering whether or not to limp to Docs for Steroidal Injections but being... 1. a fool 2. lazy and 3. Heroic... I will soldier on.

Let me tell you about Arthritis My Lord Byron. It's a pain.
Legs with bulbous knees clad in stockings look really stupid, like balls of various sizes stuffed in a condom. Hateful. BALLOONS they are.

Arthritis also makes one feel low, almost depressed in fact. Black dogs coming with the territory apparently.
It also makes one realize that one isn't Superwoman or Cat Woman or sometimes, when it's really awful, makes one think one isn't any kind of woman at all. Just a curvy small female piece with imbalances.

But oil is on the cards Nof, so after doing this wonderful post I'll order Mr H. to walk to the chemist to get me drugs and hot pads.

In the meantime Sweetie K. I'll climb into the shower and watch as the suds of Sainsburys cheap soap rivulate over my balloons. (Picture to follow....Yeah you WISH!)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Pinny of Purity..is it open at the back ?

Lord Byron said...

Dear Seet Maiden

How saddened I am to learn of your malady. How strange because it is an affliction that usually affects parlour maids and not a lady of your standing. I trust that the physicians find a speedy remedy for which I also pray.

I remain . . .

Byron

Gloria Horsehound said...

Dear Anonymous
My pinny's are my buisness...but one of them is pvc.

Gloria Horsehound said...

My Dear Lord Byron,

I beseech you not to wallow in sadness instead I beg you to remain the high spirited soul to whom I was so violently attracted.
Years ago.

My physicians are men of the Mediterranean who are more used to dealing with pregernant girls in leggings.
I therefore swallowed harsh drugs given to me by my pharmacist from India.

No need to pray because the other Lord looks over me. And no doubtloves me.

I remain.
Impossible.

Anonymous said...

I do like pvc, as long as its fairly tight black or red ?