1. Big secondhand ornamental plates. Laying flat or propped up waiting to fall.
2. Monty. Awake or asleep. Fragrant or smelly.
3. Hidden money. Especially £20 notes.
4. My navy blue goatskin gloves. Winter spring summer and autumn.
5. Red lipstick. Looks smashing spread widely.
6. Laughing. 'Tis the bestist medicine.
7. Balding men. Six-pack chaps are fine but muscular tubbies are welcome too!
8. Chocolate. In any form. Anywhere.
9. Cakes. Happy full fat ones. Keep miserable low fat ones right away from me.
10. Cucumbers. Both real and ceramic.
11. Poetry. Old and new. But nothing from The Southend Poetry Group. Thank you.
12. My charm. Get it from dad. So glad I haven't got his wind.
13. Secondhand skirts. Short, long, but never in between.
14. Essex Gold Radio. Old records to head bang to on my way to Sainsburys.
15. Erotic lingerie.
16. Vaseline. For lips and eyebrows. Nothing sexual. For that, nothing beats Flora Buttery.
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