I Am A Woman...

Howard "Rottweiller" Webb ;)

Today I have:

Worn a camouflage baseball cap.

Fought my way through my jungle garden.

Logged on to the Fifa website. All the news I could ever want. Howard Webb is a rottweiler ref. And a police sergeant. Respect to him.

Had a sausage. Fried no green accompaniment.

Sat with my legs up drinking tea in a pint mug watching Gordon Brown.

Stroked my chin in a worrying fashion. What's a couple of hairs anyway?

Counted the days till the World Cup. 97...And counting. England's first game 12th June. Brilliant.

Pumped my arms. Flab is bad. Weights might help.

Humped two ageing chairs from A to B. No probs guv.

Climbed on the worktop to fight with the Venetian blind. I won.

Got hot screwing in a cup hook. It went in tight.

Wore socks with not a lot of elastic. Ankles are so dirty

Wore a white vest.

Ran my fingers through my hair till it poked up.

Said 'Sod it'.

Watched thirty minutes of 'Predator'. Loved the guns.

Listened to blokes yakking about football. Yeah mate that's right.

Stood with my hands on my hips. Where d'ya want me?

Tested a wonky fan heater with my bare hands. Chuck it.

Scrubbed an iron pot stand without rubber gloves. Love dirt.

Thought of sex.

Sweated.

:)