For Those Of A Delicate Disposition Please Look Away Now...

Monty has just been hand fed porridge from a big silver spoon. The splats are everywhere. On the keyboard, in my hair and on the mouse. But as he licked the spoon dry I grinned like a bonkers woman because there's no sweeter sight than an emotionless cat scraping up porridge.

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Talking of emotionless, I am.
For several reasons.

1. My glasses are giving me the pip

2. I should have done more today.
Jobs like de-scaling the windows, re-instating two hubcaps and tenderising my awful nails in time for a fun weekend. But I didn't do any of it, instead I mooched about eating tuna and porridge and wondering who'll win the General Election, American Idol and the Eurovision Song Contest (29th May). In A.I. I love Crystal Bowersox whose performances make me shiver, what a talented girl she is. Amazing vocals mixed with the roughness of someone who doesn't give a hoot about false eyelashes or what we think of her. Her missing tooth is a delightful reminder that she's real and wonderful. Absolutely love the girl.
Aaron is a 16 year old boy whose housing an old soul in his fresh clean body. He looks slightly out of this world, small and thin, large forehead and a rich voice so tender and used that it should belong to a much older man. I do not want him to leave just yet because he brings out the best in me. Happiness for other people's success.

3. I carefully avoided writing by clicking on my remote to watch some dreadful film called The Messengers. Deleted it from my Humax after twenty minutes. Not storing junk like that on my hard drive. Much prefer to clog it up with good stuff like Rick Gervais's Extras. Which I have to say is writing at its best. The episode with Les Dennis being so painful it was genius. Well done Ricky and well done Les. It's so often the case that comics make very good straight actors, Les's portrayal of er....Les was done with a bitter reality which stemmed from the major cock-ups and heartache he himself went through.
Why are funny people so often tragic cases?

4. I changed the bed linen this morning and found a toffee wrapper. Don't look at me!