Oh come on mighty sun man cover me as I:

1. Walk a long way to the post office to post a parcel to my bff.
Alex the car is a bit low on pedril you see and the thought of conking out by the Elim church makes me swear.
What is it about me and petrol?
Unless I have a full tank I won't go out. Keeping one eye on the little gauge makes me drive faster... got to get to Sainsbury's/ pub/station/people's houses before the gas thing hits the buffers.

2. Walk back avoiding all shops which might take away my money.
The shops being a paint shop, a card shop and a florist. Might look in the window of the florists.

4. Avoid old gentlemen wearing baseball caps.
God I hate old chaps wearing caps. And there are too many men heading for death in my area who insist on clamping a black or white baseball hat to their shrinking heads. Don't make a fool of yourself grandad, caps are for kids and so to see you getting in my way outside the post office trying to look so American will be sickening.
By the way my dad wore a trilby once and he looked gorgeous but then he's the kind of fella that looks good in anything.
Mum however needs a lot of help.

5. Stand in the garden with brows furrowed wondering when I'll rip open the gravel sacks.
The sooner I stick my gentle fists into the bits the better. I always feel better when being activated in the garden.

6. Look out of the bedroom window thinking about Graham the gardener. He'll be in my area next Monday so I might bell him telling him that my back area needs attention.
He'll probably want paying but I dare say we'll come to an arrangement over that. One back garden=One great dinner.
Whaddya say:)