In the midst of horror I thought it best to drive to Morrisons. I am sometimes guilty of letting major heartbreaking events affect me.
Anyway....Taking into account that mum didn't feel as breezy as usual she stayed car bound whilst I hot footed my way around the little Eastwood store to pick up a nice beef joint for Monday.
I like Morrison's.

Small, slightly retro feel with hat wearing butchers and tall lean boys on the cheese counter. It has narrow aisles, narrower than Sainsburys so has obvious trolley bumpings occurring.

I couldn't find the cream.
I couldn't find the turmeric.
Found them eventually of course, but always in the back of my mind is mother. When she's with me I'm always aware of how long I've been hanging out by the veg inspecting courgettes and onions and when she's waiting for me either on a supermarket bench or in a car park I'm acutely aware of being NOT ALONE. It's a strain alright. I can't seem to let myself go. Give myself the freedom to dawdle. I'm a dawdler who doesn't dawdle anymore.

I paid Philomena on the check out and as I bagged my beef I shot a glance out of the window and saw mother sitting in the car.
I love her with every part of my being BUT I do miss my one-woman supermarket trips.

Rain pelted me as I walked to the car, messing my glasses lens' and making my left eye drip. Mascara stings. Dropping onto the driver's seat
I saw that mum hadn't eaten the banana I'd left on the dashboard
"Why haven't you eaten it?"
"You were too quick".



Doing a detour we popped into a church charity shop... the ladies in there were very gentle and blisteringly Christian one even giving mum a paperback book about an Americana man who survived loss/horrors/bankruptcy by finding God.
I knelt down, literally on my knees, to rummage through a box of needlework odds and ends and after a few minutes of blissful fingering I handed 30p to the lady for 3 reels of blue cotton and a plastic pouch filled with embroidery yarns. All unused, in perfect condition. What a find!

I like moments like that.

It was still raining when a wheelchairless mum and a fit me meandered our way to the car but she was alright. So was I. She was also very ok about getting wet. And I was proud and amazed by her determination.
I suppose being unwell puts rain in its place.



I'm looking forward to watching some tennis on tv at the weekend (French Open) and hopefully returning to a neglected hobby; cross stitch.:)

Now I must fly.


Tonight's Menu: Nasi Gorenge, a regular favourite and Homemade Peshwari Naans.:)