Wasps Made Me Do It

Wasn't going to write for a while but...
At Ray's today I was met by a swarm of wasps. Swarm of wasps? Is that right? Or does swarm only refer to bees, anyway I was met by some.

I went into the normally quiet kitchen and heard the familiar nasty threatening sound of , I would say, about fifty or so wasps. Flipping heck I thought, better not make them angry so I left the kitchen and went upstairs, hoping that on my return they'd be gone.
Wrong.

So thinking like the little soldier I am, I donned one of Ray's baseball caps for protection pulling it as far down as possible and then tentatively manoeuvered around them with my J cloth, making sure I didn't get them rattled. Then one of the pussies bundled in via the catflap, it was the smallest one...the angelic one...my favourite.

What'll I do if the cat gets kitty rage and takes on the wasps? What could I do to save the cat? The images which drifted in and out of my head were horrific, so I gently persuaded the tortoiseshell angel to leave by picking him up with one hand and dumping him in the bath. He miaowed of course, like I was the wickedest woman on earth, meanwhile I got to grips in the front room.
All was well.
Then I had to hoover.
The kitchen.

So after reassuring kitty I went into colonial marine mode. I sweetly aimed my nozzle at a bunch of the buggers, only managing to suck up two of the little horrors, but at least I was getting stuff done. They continued flying around the back door, which to my annoyance was locked so I decrumbed the toaster, polished several knobs and fancies and gingerly lifted a laptop from one worktop to another. All the time keeping a rheumy eye on the stingers.

The swarm ignored me.

Then I saw one of them walk into one of Ray's upturned boots! Bugger. I like Ray and all that but not enought to risk getting set upon, so after rapidly doing my bits and pieces I left him a note on dayglo pink paper warning him to beware his boots.

I left early.