Handyman

My garage is coming along nicely.
Thanks to the very generous help of a friend.
Thanks Sweetie.

It's amazing how much ghastly stuff accumulates when the garage is used as a general dumping ground.
I stood in amazement as layer upon layer of damp festering junk revealed snippets of past lives, past endeavours and past extravagances.
Did I really use that awful white plastic table? And what on earth was I thinking when I bought the fish thing? And hidden under a rolled up beige shag pile carpet was a huge bag of long green metal rods! No idea what they were used for but I know where they're going. Down the dump. A tin of aqua paint caught my eye along with one of those horrid Hover mowers and to add joy to the nail breaking work, I came across a big bag of soil...Why did I do that? Why did I put litre upon litre of garden soil in a big blue sack? Have no idea what to do with it. Maybe I could throw it around the conifers or better still, the neighbours.

As me and Handy Andy dragged out the rotting remnants I spotted another large carrier bag chock-a-block with rolls of yellow and blue wallpaper. After studying the paper I realized that when I bought it I must have been one sad old trout with no sense of style and no sense of measurement. Unlike now of course where I'm a radiantly happy old trout with tons of panache and a calculator.

We pressed on and as Handy Andy raked up tons of coloured foam from a disintegrating sun lounger I stopped and looked at the sky.
How queer I thought, to be working up a sweat in a messy garden on a sweet September day. And as my strong-as-an-ox co-worker forced a legless table into the bin I comforted myself with the fact that one day the neglected un-loved garage will be as capacious as my heart and my little Aleks will be safely tucked inside.

Tomorrow is back to work day.
But afterwards, after a decent sandwich, I shall continue the great clean up but sadly without the assistance of Handy Andy. I see myself in sturdy shoes stomping on everything wooden and frail, gathering up dank odds and ends and loading them into black bin bags and then I'll go in with my ancient red broom to relocate the spiders.
And if all goes to plan, the brilliant cobweb free garage will then be fit for two cars.
I can't wait:)

On the menu tonight:
Crumbs.
John is working late so I'll starve:(