.................The rain fell as Mum, Mr H and I sat in a yellow walled cafe set in a side street just orf the High Street in Southend.
What were leather settees doing in an egg and chip establishment? I pondered as the bitter faced lady took my order (two teas, one coke) ...
Progress Ang,I thought, progress. Long departed are the days of rickety two bob chairs and melamine table tops, this is a 2012 nosh gaff. Complete with ash effect dining suites.

As she poured steaming tea from tin teapots I surveyed the blackboard above her head...
The usual cafe fare.
Bangers, breakfasts, poys and jam roly poly. I thanked the food gods for that at least!

It started to drip heavily as I made my way to our table...But rain or not I had decided long ago over me toast that today HAD to be fine. Well as fine as any anniversary of any death could possibly be.
My beloved pop was just about alive this time last year then, just after ten in the evening took his leave, leaving us forever in turmoil.
I knew mum was struggling because she left her tea, looked grey, and called everyone bastards.


But Mr H pushed mum along the 'bastard roads' all along down to the front where we all got in people's way whilst looking at secondhand bags and books:)

Mum bought tons. Books mostly. I bought a 1960's blue quilted SNAP SHUT handbag. It was love at first blah blah, so struck by it was I that I knelt down onto the floor and decamped my stuff from current handbag to new one.
And it's actions like that keep one young.

I did so love her today.
Her hair's a bloody mess, her complexion bitty and grey and a grief so obvious it's impossible for Mr H or meself to know what to say.
So we kept our tongue between our lips and shopped on.

:)

Shopping done we came home, home to the Ladies Final. Hoping for Radwenska win. But I fear Ms Muscle AKA Ms Williams will hold the trophy above her huge hair with one teency finger:(

Then I'm doing dinner.
Homemade Hamburgers with cheese onion and dill pickles, fat chips, coleslaw. Pudding? Unknown. Fancying a choccie puddle...

So m'dears today has been a bowlful of very mixed emotions.
Overwhelming sadness at grey skies. Daddy dying. Mummy dying slowly and feeling powerless and without any say in the matter.
Great buys:) Including bag, purse, BHS nightie, 3 sausage rolls, beloved paperbacks, big bracelet, big battery and Irish steak mince.



Onwards in the drizzle..Don't dawdle....'Tis the only way:)