My earlier post was one of fun and games, this post however isn't.

Just as I was drinking my mid- afternoon tea, the doorbell rang. On opening the door I was met with the bearded face of Richard, the 'man' I used to clean for.
"What do you want?" I asked, feeling my blood pressure rise and heart beat faster.
"Just want to say sorry" he said
I honestly didn't know what to do or say, so I did a big thing and asked him in. He spent the next ten minutes telling me how badly he'd treated me and everyone and that he'd had a physical and nervous breakdown and was on so many drugs he ratlled. Yeah yeah.
Not wanting to get angry and suffer the consequences afterwards I accepted his apology and made him a cup of tea. He continued with his story about hospitalization and what an arse he'd been but I wasn't having any of it.
"You're good Richard" I said " And I feel you have missed your true vocation in life, that of being an actor"
He thought that hilarious and that he said was what he loved about me... my crazy sense of humour... Of course dear.
After listening to his spiel I said he had to go but before he went he left me open mouthed...
"Would you go out to dinner with me?"
and
"You look lovely fresh faced" (I wasn't wearing make-up)
and other nauseating drivel.
"No I won't go out with you Richard but thanks for apologising after a year. Goodbye"
He waddled off saying...
"You'll be glad I came round"

I closed the door feeling confused and angry, his visit reminding me of the dreadful time I had late 2009 early 2010, now the feelings have resurfaced and I don't like it. It's my fault I suppose I shouldn't have asked him in, thought it was the right and proper thing to do. Thought I was being a big woman. Now not so sure. Am I really that much of a moron that I can't rise above it?
Obviously yes. There's no hope for me at all.

Now I'm up the wall. And feeling sick. And wishing I wasn't alone.
And today has been a good simple day filled with good simple things, baking and snooker, but now because of the madness of this egomaniac, my emotions are slightly off the rails. Hence this post. I'll be alright tomorrow.

Better take the bread pudding out of the oven:)